Brian has had intermittent back and neck pain for several years now and he finally sought help through a corrective chiropractor. On his first appointment, about a week ago, the doctor went over his medical history, took some x-rays, and put him through several ‘range of motions’ tests.
Friday was his second appointment. The main purpose of this visit was to go over the test results, recommendation of care, and the “cost of care” (money, money, mon-ney) before beginning treatment. The doc suggested that Brian bring me along so that I’d be “supportive” throughout this process. WTF does that even mean?
I went…but he’s coming to my next pap smear appointment in support of my uterine care.
When we walked in the office, there were all these patients sitting, standing, and laying around. Yes, laying around- because there, in the middle of the room, were all these crazy ass tables with pulleys and levers. Sadly, I didn’t have my camera with me, but they looked something like this…
Mr. Johnson’s back was killing him.
I’m not sure if this equipment is new age or totally archaic…you can never tell with crazy shit like that.
We were quickly ushered back to a small office to wait. And after about 10 minutes the chiropractor came in, introduced himself, and began his shtick. Man, this guy was good in the most cheesiest of ways. He had a well-rehearsed, polished script that rivaled any 2 am infomercial! I bet if I asked him, ” Will adjustments make Brian’s balls smell better?” he’d say “That’s a great question, Kim!”, then enlighten me on the ‘ball smellage / poorly aligned back’ connection.
He was a true salesman to say the least- any doubt we had, he squelched it, any point we brought up, he countered it, and he did it all while straightening and bending a life size vertebrate. I think he used that vertebrate as some sort of subliminal device, because I found my back hurting when he twisted it like a double helix. In fact, when I stretched my lower back, he brought up his family discount. To shut him down, I screamed, “I’ve never felt better!” and quickly did 10 jumping jacks to prove it. I then resisted the urge to rub my shoulders (shit, they were killing me).
After an hour (YES! AN HOUR!) he announced that Brian would need to come 3 times per week (25-40 mins each) for at least 6 months, and then he’d reevaluate the frequency based on his progress. He also mentioned every piece of rehabilitation equipment that he had for sale, and all the vitamins, and all the skin care, and I swear I heard Amway in there. Oh, and “your insurance won’t cover anything but I have a great cash plan”. What? How many times per week? What’s this going to cost us?
Turns out, it’s going to cost a Toyota Camry w/ a sunroof
…or at least the car payment equivalent.
Um, we’ll get back to you.
Guys, I’m asking you…do you have any chiropractor experience and does this sound reasonable?
This is not helping my view of chiropractors…
Been going since I was 16. Love my current guy- on mill town Rd dr dave Cooke. Takes no insurance or appointments, you just show up during his set office hours and deposit at least $10 in his honor box. He is the antithesis of the guy you saw, but did graduate #1 in his class. Would probably freak out Brian though, as he is unconventional Would seriously recommend though, never any pressure and you can buy coconut oil and homemade organic salves there, too
Lots of people swear up and down that chiropractors work, but everyone I know who uses one has to go ALL. THE. TIME. A friend of mine hurt her knee ice skating in 7th grade, and when it goes out it causes pain in her back. She’s 36 now and still goes to the damn chiropractor for it. She’ll be okay for a while and then you’ll hear her say, “Ugh, I have to get back to the chiropractor.” Shouldn’t that shiz be cured by now?!
I also worry it’s like the movies where they snap your neck while you hope and pray they know what they’re doing, but I know it’s not. It still really freaks The Hubs and me out, and so he grins and bears his back issues.
I am interested to hear if this works though! Keep us posted!
lol, get a second opinion. I have a guy I really like – but I also used to go to a guy who sounds just like the one you saw. My guy hasn’t tried to sell me a single thing, and I only go when I feel like I need to.
Your blog makes me laugh and laugh… so I have nominated it for one of those dubious blog “awards”
No obligation, but if you do decide to participate in the Sunshine Project, please link your post in the comments on my blog so that I can check it out! Here is the post http://stumpsandbeans.com/2013/03/04/let-the-sunshine-in/
WOW! Thanks so much, Kimmie! I’ll head over and check it out!
Was it a “maximized living” branded chiro? They are extremely shady… I went to a koolaid-drinking-session, er, educational presentation about six months ago. They required me to bring my spouse and yes, would. Not work with insurance. I found a place that gave off a medical practice vibe instead of creepy pyramid scheme vibe and never looked back. And they work with my insurance! Bonus
Holy crap…I’m pretty sure I went to the same guy. Once…never again. Kept waiting for him to say “what can I do to get you to sign up today?”
I’m not signing anything!!! …but Brian probably did…