The Weekend through Crappy Pics

About a month ago, I got a “I need to have a hammock” bug up my ass. So I bought one at a yard sale for $10.  It wasn’t until this Saturday that the bug came out of my ass and said, “Listen Bitch, you need to hang that damn hammock!”  So off to the hardware store I went.

After selecting chains, hooks, and those things that mountain climbers use, I took everything to the counter.  The register guy rang it all up (it cost more than the hammock itself) and said “Do you need a bag for that?”  I don’t know about you, but when a cashier says “Do you need a bag for that?” I hear, “You DON”T need a bag for that.  And if you ask for one, you’re a lazy Earth-killer that probably pours Clorox bleach and chemical fertilizer down your kitchen drain.”

“Oh, no.  I have plenty of room in my purse for heavy duty chains.  In fact, I can use them to secure my hemp wallet and eco-friendly tampons.”

Then we went to the grocery store, where I had to put the chains on the conveyor belt to get my wallet out.  And Ana says to the clerk, “We’re going to hang-a-monk”

Ha…ha…ha…kids say the darnest things…that’ll get you arrested.

 

 

Later that night, we went out to a nice dinner (still haven’t hung the hammock).

And I made the mistake of taking Ana to the bathroom with me.

As I’m in the stall, I hear her say, “What’s this do?”  Then this happens…

*This is a reenactment as I’m not in the habit of taking my camera to the bathroom.

 

 

On Sunday, I decided I HAD to hang the hammock

I call this pic “Shit’s About to Get Real”…or “A Badass Lives Here”, I haven’t decided yet.

 

and then I HUNG IT! and it was TOO TAUNT! son of a bitch.

Now Ana uses it as a swing.

Bright side:  I can relax in a lawn chair while she swings on the monk I hung.

 

How was your weekend?

 

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Comments

  1. If it keeps the kids entertained for any amount of time, then it can’t be all bad!! But seriously, pretty good weekend here and just hoping to have a few more repeat weekends like this instead of the crapfests we usually get around here!!
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Origami Owl Review & GiveawayMy Profile

  2. The Momarchy Ladies says:

    Have you ever gotten stuck in a hammock? Now that is a scary situation!

  3. I am laughing my ass off!! I love the pic of the little chain hanging from the tree – classic!!! And my twins have ganged up on me in the bathroom, turned off the lights and won’t turn them back on until they “hide” and I have to “seek”. It’s thrilling.
    Great post!!
    Allie Burdick recently posted…IF YOU’RE NOT FIRST, YOU’RE LASTMy Profile

  4. Kelly says:

    Haha, I’ve had one of those mountain climber hooks in my purse since I was 16… It’s my keychain. My sister stole it off a swingset when we were kids. I never felt guilty about it until just now…

  5. Becca says:

    Gotta be careful when you get those “wild hairs up your ass”! You just never know where they will lead! Love the post…especially the “blackout in the bathroom” I would have freaked out! Especially because if I know my kid…she wouldn’t have been able to get the lights back on because “mommy it’s dark and I can’t see the switch” (maybe not the most common sense in the world) so I would have had to get to it in the dark! lol

    <3 southernmessmom.blogspot.com
    Becca recently posted…My Mini Me Mocks MeMy Profile

  6. Madison says:

    hahaha I’m loving your posts. Kids do say the darnest things. I remember a few years ago I was too tired to talk to my MIL who called on the phone, actually I didn’t want to talk to her at all so I told my son to tell her I was sleeping. He went to the phone and said “mommy said to tell you that she’s sleeping”. Go figure… Have a great week! :)
    Madison recently posted…The Liebster AwardMy Profile

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