The Weekend through Crappy Pics

About a month ago, I got a “I need to have a hammock” bug up my ass. So I bought one at a yard sale for $10.  It wasn’t until this Saturday that the bug came out of my ass and said, “Listen Bitch, you need to hang that damn hammock!”  So off to the hardware store I went.

After selecting chains, hooks, and those things that mountain climbers use, I took everything to the counter.  The register guy rang it all up (it cost more than the hammock itself) and said “Do you need a bag for that?”  I don’t know about you, but when a cashier says “Do you need a bag for that?” I hear, “You DON”T need a bag for that.  And if you ask for one, you’re a lazy Earth-killer that probably pours Clorox bleach and chemical fertilizer down your kitchen drain.”

“Oh, no.  I have plenty of room in my purse for heavy duty chains.  In fact, I can use them to secure my hemp wallet and eco-friendly tampons.”

Then we went to the grocery store, where I had to put the chains on the conveyor belt to get my wallet out.  And Ana says to the clerk, “We’re going to hang-a-monk”

Ha…ha…ha…kids say the darnest things…that’ll get you arrested.



Later that night, we went out to a nice dinner (still haven’t hung the hammock).

And I made the mistake of taking Ana to the bathroom with me.

As I’m in the stall, I hear her say, “What’s this do?”  Then this happens…

*This is a reenactment as I’m not in the habit of taking my camera to the bathroom.



On Sunday, I decided I HAD to hang the hammock

I call this pic “Shit’s About to Get Real”…or “A Badass Lives Here”, I haven’t decided yet.


and then I HUNG IT! and it was TOO TAUNT! son of a bitch.

Now Ana uses it as a swing.

Bright side:  I can relax in a lawn chair while she swings on the monk I hung.


How was your weekend?


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  1. If it keeps the kids entertained for any amount of time, then it can’t be all bad!! But seriously, pretty good weekend here and just hoping to have a few more repeat weekends like this instead of the crapfests we usually get around here!!
    Janine Huldie recently posted…Origami Owl Review & GiveawayMy Profile

  2. The Momarchy Ladies says:

    Have you ever gotten stuck in a hammock? Now that is a scary situation!

  3. I am laughing my ass off!! I love the pic of the little chain hanging from the tree – classic!!! And my twins have ganged up on me in the bathroom, turned off the lights and won’t turn them back on until they “hide” and I have to “seek”. It’s thrilling.
    Great post!!
    Allie Burdick recently posted…IF YOU’RE NOT FIRST, YOU’RE LASTMy Profile

  4. Haha, I’ve had one of those mountain climber hooks in my purse since I was 16… It’s my keychain. My sister stole it off a swingset when we were kids. I never felt guilty about it until just now…

  5. Gotta be careful when you get those “wild hairs up your ass”! You just never know where they will lead! Love the post…especially the “blackout in the bathroom” I would have freaked out! Especially because if I know my kid…she wouldn’t have been able to get the lights back on because “mommy it’s dark and I can’t see the switch” (maybe not the most common sense in the world) so I would have had to get to it in the dark! lol

    Becca recently posted…My Mini Me Mocks MeMy Profile

  6. hahaha I’m loving your posts. Kids do say the darnest things. I remember a few years ago I was too tired to talk to my MIL who called on the phone, actually I didn’t want to talk to her at all so I told my son to tell her I was sleeping. He went to the phone and said “mommy said to tell you that she’s sleeping”. Go figure… Have a great week! :)
    Madison recently posted…The Liebster AwardMy Profile

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