Weekend in Crappy Pics!

On Friday night, we put the kids into the Kid’s Night Out babysitting program at our local gym. And guess what? Collin. Was. Pissed. When I asked him if I could take his picture for my blog, he screamed “NO!” and stormed off. Once again, I am forced to use illustration. Lucky for you, my artistic abilities are limitless.

If you’ve read about his past Kid’s Night Out experience, you’d understand his anger.

Kid’s Night Out 2012

Fairy Wand Crafting

 

After dropping them off and running like hell, Brian and I headed over to a little BYOB sushi joint. Turns out I’m a cheap date when you remove alcohol from the bill.

Recognize the wine? It was last week’s Cheapo Wino review I bought another bottle!

 

On Saturday, the kids went to my parent’s for an evening chock full of junk food and spoiling (and by spoiling, I mean someone actually paid attention to them all day long), while we went to a Brewfest with a bunch of our friends. That’s right, baby, two date nights in a row!  Don’t be a hater.

And when you have unlimited beer, you need unlimited…

Row after row of glorious porta-potties! It was like a weak bladdered woman’s wet (urine soaked) dream.  I actually knelt down and wept before them.

At a beer event, it’s apparently a “thing” to wear a pretzel necklace to munch on. Make sense, right? Here’s mine (thanks to my BFF, Joanne, for making them):

All the necklaces I saw were pretty much standard, but then I saw this one:

and I said to Brian, “Look! That guy made his pretzels into a penis and balls!” Then Brian made this face, kinda like he smelled shit or something, and whispered, “No he didn’t. That doesn’t look anything like a penis. Get your mind out of the gutter!”

A few seconds later, my BFF walks up and I say, “Quick! What does that look like?”-  like I’m giving her some kind of pretzel Rorschach test.

“Penis and balls, duh”

Well, make my gutter a double wide, Brian, ’cause I’ve got me some company.

But here’s what I don’t get about his penis/balls concept- It may be clever but…isn’t he essentially nibbling off his own penis?

*Side note: I’m making a cheese necklace for my next wine tasting by weaving string cheese.

 

On Sunday, I picked the kids up super early from my parent’s house because Ana had a 10:30 am birthday party at one of those crazy maze places.

She had a total blast!

I have no doubt she’s winning here…that’s not a loser’s smile.

Before I wrap this up, I have to give props to the sharpest kid there:

It’s hard to see in this photo but he’s wearing a shiny silver suit. He looked like this (minus the sunglasses and ascot, but with the attitude):

source www.mensusa.com

He kept passing me, strutting around like a tiny John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Man, what’s that kid’s story?  There’s nothing I wanted more than to pull up a tic-tac sized chair and be regaled with colorful tales from his modeling days, botched philanthropic pursuits, and emerging fashion line (think Gucci meets Garanimals). But I couldn’t afford the distraction, Ana kept drowning in the ball pit…she may not be a strong swimmer but she’s determined.

How was your weekend?

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Wants some funny? Visit my girl Alyson over at The Shitastrophy, her shit will keep you laughing!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. TWO date nights?! OMG, what does that even feel like??! Oh, and that necklace totally looked like balls and a penis.
    Dani Ryan recently posted…How my high school ‘sweetheat’ got the name Douche RocketMy Profile

  2. I need to know more about that kid! Call all the parents you know. We’ve got to get to the bottom of this.
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted…Pumpkin is the New BlackMy Profile

  3. Now Brewfest? BREWFEST!!?!?!?!?!?

    And, yes, that does mean he’s nibbling off his own penis.

    Love the silver suit. Reminds me of the kid on Modern Family. So funny.

    Can’t wait to see the cheese necklace.
    One Funny Motha recently posted…Twitter TipsMy Profile

    • One Classy Motha! says:

      I thought of you while I was writing it;) But wait until you see what I have planned for next weekend.
      *cross your fingers it doesn’t rain.

  4. That is SO a penis and balls necklace… what would be the point of it otherwise?
    Luci – Mother.Wife.Me recently posted…Business Mums: Kate Pietrasik of children’s wear label Tootsa MacGintyMy Profile

  5. Your husband says:

    You all are nuts

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge

Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: