Spicy Cucumber Margarita Recipe! ….and it’s “relatively” low-cal!

spicy cucumber margarita



Do you remember my post on Monday, where I told you that I was obsessed with creating the most perfect and somewhat healthiest margarita on the planet, and that my family went the entire weekend without warm food or motherly love while I obsessed over my newest obsession?



I don’t mean to suggest that this recipe is the end-all-be-all, but last night I dreamt that I had to give a presentation on something that changed my life…I gave this margarita demonstration.

Spicy Cucumber Margarita


8 ounces blanco or silver tequila (clear)

4 limes

1 cucumber

1 orange

1 jalapeno

2 T agave syrup



1. pour 8 oz of tequila in a pint glass, slice & de-seed the jalapeno, then throw it in the tequila and muddle. Strain tequila into a pitcher and set aside.

2. cut each lime in half and completely juice those suckers. pour into the pitcher.

3. cut orange in half and juice it until you get 1/2 cup. pour into the pitcher.

4. juice the cucumber. pour into pitcher.

“How do I juice a cucumber?” you ask. Ok, this is where my ‘special’ kind of thinking really shines.

Simply shove a 1 inch cucumber slice into a lime carcass, juice it & repeat!

juice a cucumber

I’m trying to be humble here, but damn…I’m a goddamn genius!

5. add 2 tablespoons of agave nectar to the pitcher.

6. Make a wish, blow a kiss, and shake that pitcher with unbridled passion! (I guess now’s a good time to suggest you use a pitcher with an airtight lid.)

7. Serve on the rocks with a salt & cayenne rim & enjoy!

8. Sing my praises.

I did the math, and by using fresh juices and eliminating the Triple Sec, this yummy margarita will only set you back 35 calories an ounce! Of course, you could save more calories by using less tequila, but that’s just ridiculous. I’d rather forgo dinner.


After you’ve poured yourself a spicy margarita, check out Freckles and Curse Words…she’ll walk you through a woman’s depressing but hilarious bra continuum! I’m in the full-supportive bra stage. waaaahhhh

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  1. Making this … stat! Looks delish. Might as well have more than one since they are so low cal 😉

  2. That looks like a lot of work…. Can’t I just come to your house and drink one?

  3. That cucumber juicing technique is brilliant! And the drink just screams “spring.” I love it!
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted…A Definitive Ranking of ALL THE EASTER CANDYMy Profile

  4. I don’t “juice” things…ever…but if I did, holy sheot, I’d be using that technique. You are so clever!
    Shay recently posted…Easter DrunksMy Profile

  5. You had me at “relatively” low-cal!’ :)

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