Happy Holidays! It’s December, and I bet you’re thinking to yourself “Wow, this year really flew by!” Yeah, not so much for me. Turns out getting a puppy in the cold darkness of January and sleeping only 4 hours a night until June-ish, makes for a pretty drawn out 2017.
But things are good now. Allie Oop is 14 months old and such a sweetie! Whenever someone says ‘I want a puppy’, I no longer run away screaming, “NOOO, DON’T DO IT! ENJOY YOUR LIFE!” Now I just run away.
In February, we found a sitter for the dog and actually ventured out of the house to eat at Fogo de Chao in Philly and to take in a show.
I couldn’t tell you the name or theme of the show, but I can tell you that Fogo de Chao’s all-you-can-eat salad bar has a wheel of aged Parmesan the size of an end table! And they let you shave as much off as you want! No Off-Broadway production has ever moved our family to tears quite like that hunk of cheese did.
We tried going outdoors in March, but the weather wasn’t ready yet.
In April, we went to an all-inclusive resort in Punta Cana for Spring Break. Before leaving, I read that the resort was known for high pressure timeshare tactics and that we should avoid the sales people with their promise of spa services in exchange for listening to a pitch. I wasn’t concerned because the Sweds would never fall for that! Yet, just twenty-four hours after landing, there we were, holding two FREE FACIAL vouchers and proud members of a Holiday Vacation Club. Coincidentally, Ana turned 9 that week, so we handed her the contract and said “Happy Birthday!” since we could no longer afford a gift.
View from the negotiation tactics room.
Day 2 of that trip had us in a “what have we done?” stupor. Day 3 was googling HOW TO GET OUT OF A TIMESHARE and learning all about International Consumer Law. On Day 4, suffering from regret and sleep deprivation, I returned to the cattle room filled with other suckers and demanded a refund. I was quickly rushed into a small, dimly lit backroom where I engaged in some broken Spanish Federal Law smack talk. It was intense, and at times I wondered if my dead body would float or sink when they threw it in the ocean. But to my surprise, 45 long minutes later we were refunded our full purchase price and I was set free. Days 5 & 6 were used for drinking and reflecting. Day 7 we decided to buy a beach house and never leave the country again.
May was all about looking for a beach house on Realtor.com and cheering on the return of warm weather.
In June, Brian was awarded a work incentive trip for 2 to an all-inclusive resort in…wait for it…PUNTA CANA. I smiled when he told me, but I wanted to cry. What if we bought another timeshare? Worse yet, what if I agreed to be someone’s drug mule, swallowing balloons of cocaine for a free French Manicure and eyebrow wax? In light of our previous trip, this was now plausible. But free is free, and so we went. Thankfully, we only made eye contact with the bartenders and we had a great time!
That month, we also took Collin to his first real concert to see U2!!! Brian purchased General Admission tickets so we could get as close to the stage as possible. Collin loved it! But he requested that next time we buy seated tickets, allowing him to relax with his snacks. Kids these days…
In July, we bought the perfect beach house for our family. As ‘cold weather intolerant’ people, better suited for living on the equator than in the Mid-Atlantic, we’re forced to pack in all outdoor activities between June and Mid-October. And that’s what we did this summer. Lots of crabbing, swimming, kayaking, and walking. And, oh the bike trails! Compared to hilly Pennsylvania, the flat biking trails of the Delaware shore are a dream. In fact, we felt safe enough to take the training wheels off Ana’s toddler-sized bike, and it turns out she can ride. Probably could for YEARS. “Look ma, no hands!”
The beginning of August was spent drinking fresh-squeezed margaritas on the beach at dusk while watching Collin skim board and Ana dig deep holes up to her neck. But then I read several horror stories about sand collapsing in on people, so by the end of August she was relegated to digging a thousand shallow holes up to her ankles. Not as much fun, but safer and takes just as long.
“Remember the time mom let us almost die?!” – My kids, 20 years from now.
In September, Ana started travel soccer and Collin began his second year of middle school football. And just like that, our lives became hectic again. Fun, but hectic. It was this month that we also had to put down our old 3-legged dog, Buddy. I’ll admit, Buddy wasn’t the best family dog. He was a grumpy canine who had little interest in anyone that wasn’t ‘Kim’. But I miss the little guy. And when I’m feeling particularly sad, I like to keep his memory alive by re-telling stories about the time he bit everyone in the family except for me.
I miss you Buddy! …no one else does, so you were right to bite them.
In October, Collin turned 14, Allie Oop turned 1, and we took a trip to Florida. It was the first time the kids flew Southwest Airlines and Ana is still raving about it. Not only did the flight attendant make balloon animals but, as Ana said holding up the barf bag printed with the words FOLD DOWN TWICE AND SECURE WITH TWIST TIE, “They even have crafts!”.
Art is everywhere you look!
That week was spent visiting family and trekking around Disney World. We also attempted to go to Universal Studios but only got as far as buying the tickets. Can you believe our credit card was charged $759 for 4 one-day passes!?!? It cost SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-NINE DOLLARS! We walked in shock from the ticket booth to the ticket taker, stopping just 5 feet from his outstretched hand. Here was our crossroads. Brian and I stood motionless, staring at each other with pained expressions, both wondering how to justify this expense. And when Ana announced that she would NOT be going on any rides because “they’re scary”, I ran over to the customer service desk and began refund negotiations despite the “no refunds” sign. It was Punta Cana all over again. And like Punta Cana, we thankfully got our money back.
After I got our money back, I made them take a picture at the entrance anyway. Technically, we were there. They were not happy.
With our beach trips officially over in November, Brian and I resumed our weekend date nights, which meant eating without children at every good BYOB in the area. Collin is finally old enough to babysit Ana at night, and they’re both more than happy to gorge on delivery pizza from Friday-Sunday. Life is good.
So far December has been spent minimizing our outdoor exposure and watching reruns of Caribbean Life on HGTV. Pretty unproductive. However, Allie’s been very busy. So far, she’s chewed up 5 harnesses, 4 Comcast remote controls, and finished off the couch that Mr. Bojangles started when he was alive. So, if you come to visit you might want to bring a folding chair.
We have managed to make a couple trips back to the beach this month. In fact, the family picture on our holiday card is from this year’s Bethany Beach Christmas Tree lighting. We took several ok pics in front of the tree, then we each voted on which one to use. Ana lost.
For Christmas this year:
Ana wants either a chinchilla, a bearded dragon, or a chameleon (no, no, and no). And she wants you to put our card straight into your trashcan.
Collin wants an iPhone X (good luck, kid), sneakers, and Call of Duty (shh, I got him the next best thing, Call of DOODIE.)
I can’t wait to make it ring as he’s opening it. Hahaha!
Maybe I really am the worst mother ever.
Brian wants nothing but love and devotion from his family…because “things cost money”
I want someone else to wrap the gifts.
Allie Oop wants a refill on couch pillows, she’s almost out.
Roxy the cat…well she’s still peeing outside the litter box, so not being at an animal shelter is her gift.
As this year is coming to a close, we want to say thank you for being a part of our lives. Whether near or far, yesterday or yesteryear, you are always in our hearts. May your 2018 be filled with an abundance of love, laughter, health, and happiness.
Love,
Brian, Kim, Collin, and Ana
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