پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Free Advice Friday! Sucking at Motherhood? I doubt it.

Dear Kim,

I feel like I’m sucking at this motherhood thing.  Everyone around me seems to have their act together and I’m such a mess. My kids are always late for the bus, I forgot about my daughter’s Show and Tell day, my kids refuse to eat a healthy meal, and I can’t remember the last time I dusted.  All these screw ups, and I don’t even work outside of the house!  How does everyone else make it look so easy?

Sucking at Motherhood,

Sally

 

 

My dear, dear Sally,

Honestly, I don’t believe there’s a mother out there that has her shit together.  And if you think you know one, I guarantee she’s faking it.  She probably fakes those over-the-top orgasms too…

But if she’s not faking it, it’s possible that she’s just not sharing her problems with you.

Take me for instance, I’m sure everyone thinks I’m pretty much perfect. And why wouldn’t they? Just look at the way my underwear always matches my Lulu Lemon yoga pants to disguise the hole in my crotch, how I shave my legs almost every third Monday without fail (excluding Columbus Day), the fact that I never ever entertain guests without wearing pants or a bra. Yes, I imagine, on the surface, I can be quite intimidating. But once you get to know me, you realize that I’m just like every other mother out there, forgetting her kids at the gym daycare and hiding empty wine bottles under discarded boxes of organic cereal stolen from the neighbor’s recycling bin.

Sure, my life might appear to be all roses but it’s more like “all carnations”- you know, not without some emotional strife.

I worry that my daughter’s steady diet of turkey hotdogs will deprive her of essential nutrients causing her to grow crooked like a tree sapling planted in partial shade. But I serve her hotdogs anyway.  Every time we buy our son a video game simply because he wants it, I worry that we’re not teaching him the value of hard, honest work. But I’ve yet to create a chore chart because it’s quicker and easier for me to do a job myself. And when my daughter says “A” is her favorite number…ugh…I worry that she’ll be behind when she enters Kindergarten next year.  But have I made those multi-sensory flash cards that I found on Pinterest? No. No I haven’t.

Speaking of Pinterest, I saw this great quote:

So true.

But I think it needs a little rewording…for us…

 

 

Let me ask you this, Sally: Do your children love you? Do they feel safe? Do they know how much you love them? If so, then you’re rocking this Motherhood thing! Trust me, that’s all anyone will truly remember, and in my opinion, it’s the only thing worth remembering.

 

Give your kids a hug & make Pop Tarts for dinner,

Kim

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons for my children – Theme Thursday

Ok, for those of you just joining us (and by us, I mean me),  I’m part of a great group of writers that participate in Theme Thursday.  Every week we chose a topic to write about and then we check out everyone’s blog to get a different take or perspective.

This week is….If you could impress one lesson, ideal, or moral on your children, what would it be?

One? Only one?  That really is too limiting for me, and as the author of this blog I took the liberty of creating a list…a list people, because I’m going to be giving my kids some heavy, poorly worded guidance.  Shoot, I’ll have them bowling with the bumpers up until they’re 50, if you know what I mean (I don’t know either, it sounded philosophical)

So here’s just part of my list. Feel free to share it with your children because not everyone can make this shit up:

1.  Never judge a person you just met.  Sometimes the best people can make the worst first impression.  And sometimes assholes will put their best foot forward while their other one is rooted firmly in shit.

2.  Once you find a true friend, keep and nurture that relationship. It’s a wonderful thing to have a person you can count on, someone that can listen and give advice, someone that loves you for you.  Plus that bitch knows all of your secrets and might tell everyone if you piss her off.

3.  Expensive wine isn’t always good, but cheap wine is always bad.

4. Kids can be punk asses. And there are times that you’ll be a punk ass too. Check yourself.

5. Go to college.  Yes, the degree may help you find a job but really, college is so much better than high school!

6.  Peer pressure works. Don’t even try to bullshit me on that. Pick the right friends and I won’t assume you’re drinking or having sex when you’re suppose to be at the library. Otherwise, I’m following your ass. And I’m not above micro-chipping you.

7.  Learn to cook a meal, change a car tire, and replace a light fixture. Those 3 things will get you far in life. Not really, but they’ll keep you from looking like a douche.

8.  Never take yourself too seriously.  If you can’t laugh at yourself others will laugh for you. You. Don’t. Want. That.

9.  Tell your parents you love them, call them everyday. And take a special course on ‘How to Care for the Elderly’.  Remember, we hold your inheritance…hostage.

10.  Always keep your sense of humor, that spirit will carry you through the darkest and saddest times of your life.  If you can still laugh, despite all that life is throwing at you, you’ll be fine.  In fact, you’ll be better than fine, you’ll be smiling.

 

* Read what other bloggers are saying by clicking the Theme Thursday button on my side bar.  Their advice is probably better than mine (but I’m almost certain it’ll contain just as much profanity).  You can also click here to learn how to join us each week.

 

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