پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Weekend Update Through Pics: birthing babies from my organic ass.

How was your weekend? I hope it was a great one, filled with laughs, love, wine, wine, and wine. Sorry, I’ve been detoxing from crap for the last week, which means no alcohol. So instead of drinking, I’m dropping old wine corks in my tea like they’re sugar cubes.

Essence of Wine Tea – “When you don’t have time to lose your mind, but your ass is so huge, you’re laying off the booze”

How did my weekend begin? Glad you asked. Do you remember the time that I accidentally left Ana in the gym daycare and went home to eat eggs? (If not, you can read that story here– it’ll make you feel like a better parent. ) It was kinda like that.

 

Friday

Me at the playground with other moms:

 

Mom 1: Is Brian home today?

Me: yup, why?

Mom 1: I was just wondering who was getting Collin off the bus.

Me: Oh, that’s right, today’s a half day. I totally forgot. Thank goodness Brian works from home!

Mom 2: So I was telling my friend the other day…

(At this point, I get this bad feeling. Hmm, what is it I’m forgetting?)

Me: OH SHIIIITTTT! Brian went to his friend’s for March Madness!!!

 

I look at the clock and it’s 1:03pm, the bus drops him off at 12:56pm. Holy Shit!

I shove all of our stuff under my left arm, and with perfect timing, Ana shoots out of the curly slide. I throw her under my right arm and we take off running, like this…

Luckily my neighbor was home and rescued him from wandering around the driveway. Thank you, Tiffany!

 

Saturday

this happened…

So Collin and I went shopping for a new couch while Brian and Ana went to the moon-bounce place. Hey- that was Collin’s choice.

While shopping, I get this text from Brian…

Nice, real nice.

 

Sunday

The whole family went bowling, for the first time ever. Surprisingly, other than pulling a muscle in my ass & back, it was a success!

 

I asked Ana if she liked bowling and she said “No…I love it!”

 

After bowling, Brian picked up a pizza and made me hold it on my lap all the way home. Way to be supportive of my detox.

smells…so…good

I don’t think he wants me birthing the baby in my ass.

So, what did you do this weekend? If it was “have chocolate martinis”, keep that shit to yourself.

 

A Writing Challenge!!! I could be wearing a Ketchup costume at a grocery store near you!

Today I’m excited to be part of a fun and exciting link-up!  Mel at According to Mags and Michele from OldDogNewTits, have created an awesome writing contest…and it’s the prize I’m after!

The goal is to write about a chosen topic in 57 words or less, it’s called The Ketchup Challenge (get it? Heinz 57? you’re welcome. wake up.).  The winner gets to wear a Ketchup costume out in public, something I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t justify until now!

This is what it looks like:

The real challenge, for me, is writing anything in 57 words or less.  You know I love me some long winded-ness or “elaboration” as I prefer to call it.  But if being on twitter has taught me anything it’s, 1.There’s a lot of neurosis out there and 2. Keep it short.

So, here’s my topic:  what are YOU giving up for only two days and then caving on to remind yourself and the world that you are a miserable failure at New Year’s Resolutions?

I’m giving up sugar!

I’ve heard horror stories about “sugar-detoxing”, but as of 6 days 3hrs and 48mins ago, I’m doing fabulously!

-Want a hug?  I’ll hug you until You. Can’t. Breathe.
-Need directions?  I’ll tell you exactly where to go.
-Want to be up my ass?  I’ll put my foot up your ass.

…see? Just fabulous.

 

How are you guys doing on your New Years resolutions? I’m trying to hang in there…

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