On Friday, Mr. Bojangles reminded me that all kinds of assholes use toilet paper.
On Saturday, my in-laws asked if we’d like the kids to sleep over at their house…as in, they made it an actual question. Bahahaha!
Brian said, “Let us talk it over” just so we didn’t seem desperate, knowing that if we pounced, they might run. But then we called back 30 seconds later to say “yes”. We couldn’t risk them changing their minds.
After slowing the car down to drop them off, we went to this wonderful organic farm-to-table restaurant. The place was absolutely gorgeous, the food was local, and the menu…
Us: “We’ll have the Noah’s Ark special, please.”
Waiter: “What’s that?”
Us: “Two of everything.”
And this was dessert….
I wanted to lick those glasses so badly.
On Sunday, I spent the majority of the day getting ready for Camp Cheapo!!!! That’s right folks, tomorrow kicks off season 2 of the cheapest summer camp ever! I will entertain neighborhood children all week with poorly organized activities, sub-par materials, and questionable decision making skills. And if there’s any educational value whatsoever, it’ll be by sheer coincidence.
Since Spring, I’ve been thinking about doing something really special and totally awesome for this year’s campers. Here’s my text to the parents:
And they know, that I know, that they all have deep Jacuzzi tubs, because we have the same builder. No getting out of this one.
However, when trying to procure the duck eggs this weekend, I found out some disappointing information.
1. Baby ducks imprint. Meaning that when they hatch, they’ll think the first person they see is their mother, and forever depend on that person as such. And since the only time I fly south is on US Air, I’m not really a good duck role model.
2. It apparently violates my neighborhood’s deed restrictions. Well, la dee da.
So I cancelled my egg pick-up and made a “Dunk Bucket” instead. It’s my cheapo version of a dunking booth. It’s no baby duck, but I hope the kids like it.
Wish me luck tomorrow.
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