First Day, no jitters.
Today was Ana’s first day of preschool and we were both so excited we peed our pants, twice. Don’t worry, we were wearing princess pull-ups. The whole 1/2 mile ride to school she kept saying “Are we there yet? This is taking forever!” I had to agree, the ride was excruciatingly long. But to help pass the time I made a mental list of all the things I can do between the hours of 9am and 12pm, without a 3yr old.
The list was something like this:
1. Get a mani/pedi
2. Pity other mothers battling with small children.
3. Sit and shit in silence (I’d take either really)
4. Concentrate on anything
5.Get a pap smear
6. Get a 30 min shower (because I can, not because I’m that dirty)
7. Watch Jerry Springer (is that still on?)
8. Walk past toy aisles
9. Not be referred to as “Poopy Stinkybutt” or “Pooper Buttstink” in public (her new nicknames for me)
10. Curse out loud and often
11. Not be someone’s bitch
12. Not have to use this god awful impossible-to-maneuver grocery cart.
The bane of my existence.
13. Write without having to stop and tell someone to put their clothes back on.
When we got there, she ran inside and barely gave me a second glance. Most mothers would have been hurt but I was just fine. She’s confident and she apparently has her own mental list of things she can do without me between the hours of 9am and 12pm. I don’t blame her, I can be a drag with all of the “let the cat out of the cabinet” and “get your finger out of your butt” demands.
The first thing I did, which I didn’t want to do, was exercise at the gym. Normally I would have headed to the nail salon but I really need to work off those summer margaritas and nachos. However, I had big plans for after my class. Big, big plans. (I was going to wander around Marshall’s)
As I was leaving the gym, I stopped in the bathroom. And, ugh. I unexpectedly got my Aunt Flo. Frantically searching my purse, I thought I saw a tampon- turns out it was a cheese stick. Right shape, wrong absorbency. So I had to go all the way back home. Once I got home I decided to eat an omelette for breakfast and chocolate chips for an after breakfast dessert. Yes, I worked out then I ate like a pig, because a day without self sabotage is…well,somebody else’s day.
There’s always tomorrow.
If you liked this then you’ll really appreciate these parenting tips!
