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Free Advice Friday! Dear Kim, Summer is here…what the hell am I going to do with my kids?

 

Dear Kim,

My kids are getting out of school soon,any helpful advice or ideas for kids’ summer fun? I have 2 boys and 1 girl, and they’re very active!

Thanks!

Brenda in Bored, USA

P.S. – We don’t have much family around so that’s not an option.

 

Dear Brenda,

You certainly have come to the right place!

I don’t know how long you’ve been reading my blog, but last year I set out on a personal mission to entertain my kids (and consequently the neighbors’ kids) for a entire week! That’s right Brenda, I single handedly created activities for 5 children and actually interacted with them for 5 full days, between the hours of noon-ish & 2pm. I called our program Camp Cheapo. Our mascot was a Toyota hubcap we found while on our Starbucks sponsored nature walk. We named him Rusty.

If you want to know more about Camp Cheapo, kindly look on my left sidebar (<—-) and you’ll see a category box. Simply select “notes from Camp Cheapo” and you can read all about my successes and failures in great detail. But for the purpose of today’s post, I’m going to highlight some of our favorite activities, along with some changes I’ll be implementing this year.

Brenda, what I failed to recognize last summer was a child’s need for predictability and routine – my “Sooo, what do you guys want to do now?” itinerary resulted in some poor decisions:

So this year’s Camp Cheapo schedule is going to be well planned and look something like this (feel free to print this out):

9:oo am – Breakfast Scavenger Hunt (minus the clues) – make your children a large breakfast and hide it around the house (ex. bacon in the shower, Pop Tart in the toy box, etc.) While they’re searching for food, you can enjoy your coffee.

10:00 am – Visit Walmart and the Dollar Store for all of your supplies. No need to get dressed just yet.

12:00 pm – (That’s right, it’s noon already. What? You really think you can get your kids to the store and back before noon?) Return home and get everyone dressed in crappy clothes or swimsuits.

Noon-ish – Have your children gather their friends ( I recommend no more than 5 children for every 1 adult…more than that and you’re their bitch).

12:30 pm – (insert messy activities here) ideas include:

 

BODY PAINTING (I think she painted her legs to match her mood)

 

 

MAKING DIARRHEA-LIKE GOOP

 

SHAVING CREAM FIGHT (*note: Menthol really burns the eyes…but it smells the best)

 

GUMMY WORM RETRIEVAL CONTEST (you will want to barf)

 

 

PRETEND LAWN PEEING (the boys came up with this one)

WATER BALLOON FIGHT (warning: it’ll take you hours to fill them and only seconds to use them. It’s as rewarding as making a gourmet dinner for your dog)

 

 

12:45 pm – take them to the neighborhood pool, put a life vest on the non-swimmers, and tell them to meet you at the car at 2pm (or later if they let you read your Vogue)

Brenda, I hope I’ve given you some ideas, though they’ll probably only last you about an hour. But don’t despair, I’m currently collecting ideas on my Pinterest board, cleverly titled “Camp Cheapo”. If you have an account you can follow me by clicking here.

Additionally, my friend Leslie over at In The Powder Room has a few brilliant ideas that she’s developing (child laborish, shhh), I suggest you check her out too!

Have a great summer and whatever you do DON”T go camping…unless it’s in an air conditioned cabin with a minibar, coffee maker, and sign that says “Embassy Suites”.

Kim

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