پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

The Weekend in Crappy Pics

weekendincrappypics

 

On Friday, we went to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner. Given that Ana was rushed to the hospital last weekend while Brian and I were out to dinner, we decided to take the kids with us.

Once we arrived at our destination, it was apparent that the parking situation sucked. Hungry and not wanting to be late for our reservation, we ended up parking in a grocery store lot with signs everywhere that clearly stated “Parking for Acme Customer’s Only. All Others Will Be Towed.”

“They won’t tow us.” said Brian

And then we got out of the car.

wcp227 towtruck

And then we all shit our pants.

Then we got back into the car and drove away.

But on our third twirl around the city streets, we realized that the tow truck wasn’t waiting for violators…it was there to help some poor humiliated fool….

wcp220 cartow

(Of course, it had to be a blonde. Listen, if you’re always doing stupid shit, do me a favor and dye your hair brown. I’m tired of the stigma.)

So then we drove back into the Acme parking lot, and I vowed to buy toilet paper after dinner…just in case Karma was listening.

It was a beautiful restaurant, very posh, very urban, very NOT KID FRIENDLY. How do I know this? Well…

1. When we walked in, a patron paused mid dirty joke, took one look at our kids and said “That’ll be a $5 cover charge.” while another diner mumbled, “Great, there goes ‘Happy Hour’.” (yes, he used air quotes)

2. When ordering:

Me to waiter: “Do you have a kid’s menu?”

Waiter: “No.”

Me: “Um…ooookay…she’ll have the Kobe sausage on some sort of bread shaped into a bun, with ketchup instead of mustard aoili, and a side of Duck Fries without the duck. Oh, And a small milk.”

Waiter: “I’m not sure we have milk, but I’ll check.”

Me: “If not, just bring her some coffee creamer and I’ll dilute it with the $10 artesian spring water.”

wcp221

I should have memorized my friend Jenn’s (somethingclever2point0.com) “Should I Bring My Baby to This Restaurant” Flow Chart. Read it, save yourself from being “those assholes”.

On Saturday, I put on a new pair of yoga pants…and to my horror I realized that they required a considerable amount of leg shaving above the ankle. Something I wasn’t prepared for this early in the season.

wcp222 shave zone

For a moment, I considered shaving just between the lines, but then I was like “Candy Ass (positive self-talk), don’t be so goddamn lazy.” I ended up doing the whole rectangular area.

After the gym, we drove around the neighborhood for a good 15 minutes, waiting for the Jehovah’s Witnesses to pass our house.

wcp223

When we arrived home, I found myself staring at the staple in Ana’s head…

Yes, I was given strict instructions to take the staple remover tool to her follow-up doctor’s appointment for “staple removal”, but as a crafter and hardcore DIY-er, I couldn’t help but think “How hard can it be?” And after watching a 1:53 minute YouTube video, I felt completely qualified.

wcp228This won’t hurt a bit, I bet my dead cat’s life on it.

No sooner did I have it pulled out…”ding-dong”. It was the missionary. Apparently, he was making a second pass.

On Sunday, we played a game of 4-square in our driveway while Brian bitched about no one following the rules, like he’s on a 4-Square League or something. Then we took a family walk to the park.

wcp224

Look at that outfit. It practically screams “Hooray! My mom no longer gives a shit!”

Upon returning home, I made a healthy & delicious meal for my family, including this homemade pesto that I blended myself….

wcp226

Want to know what the secret ingredient is? Wooden spoon.

wcp225 spoon

Seeing as it had a tip prior to going into the blender, it was most likely pureed.

Of course, I served it to my family without telling them, they’d never eat it if I did. Besides, they need their fiber.

Throughout the meal, Brian kept saying things about my pesto, like “It’s missing an ingredient.” and “It needs something else.” So I kept replying with things like “Oh, yeah? What WOOD that be?” and “Really? I WOODEN think so.” Unfortunately, he wasn’t in a position to appreciate my cleverness, so all I could do was to laugh on the inside…and not eat the pesto.

How was your weekend?

.

Looking for a special PERSONALIZED GIFT? Check outwww.GiftsForYouNow.com for awesome ideas!

The Weekend in Crappy Pics – The scariest phone call of our lives…

weekendincrappypics

On Friday night, we put the kids into Kid’s Night Out at the gym and headed to fancy seafood restaurant for dinner.

As a self-confessed hypocrite, I enjoyed eating my freshly caught fish while glaring at the “horrible” woman callously executing lobsters behind me.

wcp219

“Look at her, no regard for life!”  *nom nom nom*

It was while Brian was in the bathroom that my cell phone rang and we received the scariest call of our lives. It was the gym.

A young Kid’s Night Out counselor informed me that Ana had hit her head on the pool…

that her head was bleeding…

that she couldn’t follow the life guard’s finger…

that an ambulance was on its way.

no no no, this can’t be happening.

Surprisingly, I asked very few questions, not even bothering to clarify exactly what her condition was. I suppose, in my mind, if he didn’t offer that information it was because either he didn’t know the answer OR it was so awful that he couldn’t bring himself to tell me. I knew if I had any chance of holding it together, I couldn’t risk hearing the worst. So instead, I focused on the logistics – How long ago? What Hospital? Where’s Collin? Is someone riding with her?

On the way to the hospital, Brian peppered me with questions that most normal people would have thought to ask (How did it happen? How bad is her head? Was she unconscious? Who got her out of the water?). But all I could do was to sit frozen in time, repeating the phrase “I don’t know.” In fact, the only thing I did know was that we had to get to the hospital before the ambulance did. We had to be there waiting for her.

It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive…then to pull in…then to back up. I wanted to scream! I found myself gravitating towards the ambulance doors before it even had a chance to come to a complete stop.

As soon as one of the paramedics opened the door, he smiled at me and said “She’s fine. She’s watching Peppa Pig.”

Breathe.

wcp215

We’re still unsure what happened, as no one but Ana’s friend saw what happened. But according to her, a little girl threw something across the pool and it struck Ana in the head.

I’ll tell you what, that little girl has a hell of an arm on her because they needed a staple to close the wound.

On Saturday, we did absolutely nothing, except light a fire, cuddle, and feel grateful.

wcp216

On Sunday, we did the exact same thing. Plus we watched Frozen.

wcp218

and I taught Ana a new word…

wcp2171

Today, get this…Ana has a fever, a virus she no doubt caught from Kids Night Out. Normally I’d say “Poor girl, she can’t catch a break”, but honestly, we’re all feeling pretty damn lucky.

How was your weekend? Hopefully not as dramatic as ours.

.

Looking for a special PERSONALIZED GIFT? Check outwww.GiftsForYouNow.com for awesome ideas, like this adorable, personalized  Easter Bunny:

gifts4youbunny

Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: