پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

The Weekend in Crappy Pics

On Friday, the kids and I jumped in the car and headed to the Museum of Natural History! I can’t really explain it, but we ended up at Petco instead…buying a hamster. No one was more surprised than me, except maybe the hamster.

Ana kept calling him a guinea pig. I think that made him a little nervous about our hamster knowledge and the level of care that he’d receive.

Now here’s a little tip for Petco: If you’re selling an animal that requires tiny blocks of wood in its cage because “it’s a chewer”, how about you not send it home in a thin cardboard box?

There was a lot of screaming on that car ride…probably not the best transition for Blaze. Yes, Collin named him Blaze. I want to Photoshop him riding a chariot and wearing gladiator gear with the phrase “In a Blaze of Gory!” written underneath. I’d totally make that my LinkedIn profile pic.

 

On Saturday, I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill for 4 whole miles!

I’m relatively new to running, but with the help of some awesome music, I was really getting into it. In fact, I was really jamming out to the Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t cha” song:
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don’t cha?
And as I felt my ass jiggling, the thought occurred to me “Shit, I’m the girlfriend”. I then skipped over to Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” to soothe my wounds.

 

Later that night, around cocktail hour, I sat on our deck with a martini in hand, crossed my legs, and saw something that reminded me of this poignant quote:

 

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. – Winston Churchill

 

My Leg

I took a few moments to honor the little guy’s survival journey…then I plucked him.

 

On Sunday, I went running again.

Brian’s suspicious about all this exercise. He thinks I’m full of bullshit and that I’m either cheating on him or secretly shopping. Given the prickliness of my legs, he’s leaning towards shopping.

Sunday night, I attended a summer camp meeting. That’s right, all next week I’ll be volunteering my services at a summer camp organized by members of my neighborhood. It’s a great cause as all the proceeds go towards pancreatic cancer research. This ain’t no Camp Cheapo, guys- these chicks are organized!

In an attempt to put distance between myself and my children (who will be participating) I asked to be given kitchen duty, preparing snacks and meals for the campers. When I told Brian this he said, “Are you really qualified for that?” My response, “Oh, pah-leez, I have a PH freakin D in chicken nugget preparation and PB&J assembly.” But between you and me, I’m a little nervous about the mac & cheese.

I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

How was your weekend?

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The Weekend in Crappy Pics.

On Friday, Mr. Bojangles reminded me that all kinds of assholes use toilet paper.

 

On Saturday, my in-laws asked if we’d like the kids to sleep over at their house…as in, they made it an actual question. Bahahaha!

Brian said, “Let us talk it over” just so we didn’t seem desperate, knowing that if we pounced, they might run. But then we called back 30 seconds later to say “yes”. We couldn’t risk them changing their minds.

After slowing the car down to drop them off, we went to this wonderful organic farm-to-table restaurant. The place was absolutely gorgeous, the food was local, and the menu…

Us: “We’ll have the Noah’s Ark special, please.”

Waiter: “What’s that?”

Us: “Two of everything.”

And this was dessert….

I wanted to lick those glasses so badly.

On Sunday, I spent the majority of the day getting ready for Camp Cheapo!!!! That’s right folks, tomorrow kicks off season 2 of the cheapest summer camp ever! I will entertain neighborhood children all week with poorly organized activities, sub-par materials, and questionable decision making skills. And if there’s any educational value whatsoever, it’ll be by sheer coincidence.

Since Spring, I’ve been thinking about doing something really special and totally awesome for this year’s campers. Here’s my text to the parents:

And they know, that I know, that they all have deep Jacuzzi tubs, because we have the same builder. No getting out of this one.

However, when trying to procure the duck eggs this weekend, I found out some disappointing information.

1. Baby ducks imprint. Meaning that when they hatch, they’ll think the first person they see is their mother, and forever depend on that person as such. And since the only time I fly south is on US Air, I’m not really a good duck role model.

2. It apparently violates my neighborhood’s deed restrictions. Well, la dee da.

So I cancelled my egg pick-up and made a “Dunk Bucket” instead. It’s my cheapo version of a dunking booth. It’s no baby duck, but I hope the kids like it.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Psst…could you do me a little fave and click the banner below and throw me a vote? Just a click validates me. Thanks!
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