Today Camp Cheapo was scheduled for a field trip to Camp Just-As-Cheap (my friend Colleen’s house). However, I received a disturbing text that Camp Just-As-Cheap was under quarantine due to vomiting and other disturbing bodily functions. Plan B …
Fortunately my Camp Director, Events Coordinator, and Lead Counselor (me, me, and me) are skilled at developing plans on the fly. They also used to have great abs and perky boobs before son #1 came along (I have pics I can email). But I digress.
I quickly made a run to Walmart for supplies because, while Camp Cheapo is prepared mentally and emotionally, we are unprepared physically. Besides, I believe impulsivity and last minute bad product choices encourage creativity (What the can I use this crap for?), teach valuable life lessons, (i.e.. Plan better next time) and they seem to be a big hit with the kids.
After securing my provisions we got in line. Just so you know, 20 cans of whipped cream, 5 bags of gummy worms, 2 boxes of tampons, and a tarp raises a lot of eyebrows…even at Walmart.
I was suddenly self conscious and immediately felt misunderstood by the cashier. Every time he scanned a whipped cream can I was willing him to ask me what I was doing with everything (well, maybe not the tampons). Beep… beep…beep…nothing. Finally he looked up and said,”I’m going to IHOP tomorrow morning. They have better pancakes than Denny’s”. What??? Was this crazy talk a defense mechanism? Did I make him nervous? Was his brain on overload? What if I suddenly threw zip ties onto the conveyor belt- would he drop and curl into the fetal position? HE made ME nervous.
When I got home, children wearing goggles were pacing my driveway. I told them I’d be out at 1pm. They set their watches.
We began with the ol’ “fish the gummy worms from a plate of whipped cream with your hands behind your back” game. It was disgusting. I originally pictured foamy whipped cream covering their cute little faces. Instead I got gummy worms being spit onto my picnic table with strings of spittle connecting them to their owners. I wanted to puke.
Then we began the egg relay race. I remember this game from my childhood. You place an egg on a spoon and run down a lane and back, handing off to your partner. We played one round then the kids decided that breaking the eggs over their heads and throwing them at my trees was more entertaining.
On to water balloons. Again, an hour produced 12 useable balloons. Why do we keep making these?!?!? Finally, we went to the pool. On the way over we made the “I don’t know you and you don’t know me if you get in trouble” agreement. Another great day!
Tomorrow, body paint.
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