پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Spicy Cucumber Margarita Recipe! ….and it’s “relatively” low-cal!

spicy cucumber margarita

 

 

Do you remember my post on Monday, where I told you that I was obsessed with creating the most perfect and somewhat healthiest margarita on the planet, and that my family went the entire weekend without warm food or motherly love while I obsessed over my newest obsession?

anamad

Well, I’VE DONE IT!

I don’t mean to suggest that this recipe is the end-all-be-all, but last night I dreamt that I had to give a presentation on something that changed my life…I gave this margarita demonstration.

Spicy Cucumber Margarita

Ingredients

8 ounces blanco or silver tequila (clear)

4 limes

1 cucumber

1 orange

1 jalapeno

2 T agave syrup

Love

Directions

1. pour 8 oz of tequila in a pint glass, slice & de-seed the jalapeno, then throw it in the tequila and muddle. Strain tequila into a pitcher and set aside.

2. cut each lime in half and completely juice those suckers. pour into the pitcher.

3. cut orange in half and juice it until you get 1/2 cup. pour into the pitcher.

4. juice the cucumber. pour into pitcher.

“How do I juice a cucumber?” you ask. Ok, this is where my ‘special’ kind of thinking really shines.

Simply shove a 1 inch cucumber slice into a lime carcass, juice it & repeat!

juice a cucumber

I’m trying to be humble here, but damn…I’m a goddamn genius!

5. add 2 tablespoons of agave nectar to the pitcher.

6. Make a wish, blow a kiss, and shake that pitcher with unbridled passion! (I guess now’s a good time to suggest you use a pitcher with an airtight lid.)

7. Serve on the rocks with a salt & cayenne rim & enjoy!

8. Sing my praises.

I did the math, and by using fresh juices and eliminating the Triple Sec, this yummy margarita will only set you back 35 calories an ounce! Of course, you could save more calories by using less tequila, but that’s just ridiculous. I’d rather forgo dinner.

.

After you’ve poured yourself a spicy margarita, check out Freckles and Curse Words…she’ll walk you through a woman’s depressing but hilarious bra continuum! I’m in the full-supportive bra stage. waaaahhhh

Motha’s Martini- A simple seasonal drink recipe!

Today is usually Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday but I’m still rocking bronchitis like it’s my job, and I’m pretty sure that makes my palate unreliable. On the bright side, I’ll be ready to cough up a rousing rendition of “Jingle Bells” by the Christmas Holidays. “…coughing all the way, hack, hack, hack”

Instead of a wine suggestion, I’ve decided to give you a delicious, yet simple, seasonal drink recipe that’ll be sure to impress your guests. Don’t worry, it’s not pumpkin.  According to my friend Jenn at Something Clever 2.0, EVERYTHING is pumpkin right now, pumpkin candles, pumpkin beer, pumpkin soup, pumpkin body cream, pumpkin air fresheners, pumpkin douche, etc., and it PISSES HER OFF!  While I don’t share her level of anger or hatred for all things pumpkin, I definitely get it.

*I actually like the pumpkin douche, it smells like pie.

Are you ready for today’s drink recipe?!

drum roll, please…

 

Here’s everything you need:

Pinnacle’s Caramel Apple Vodka

cream liqueur

cinnamon graham cracker

ground cinnamon

apple slice for garnish

Here’s everything you do:

 1. Mix equal parts apple caramel vodka & cream liqueur, shake. Easy, right?

2. Crush a graham cracker with your bare hands.

Pro tip- by channeling your pent-up frustration, hostility, and general antipathy for the unrealistic expectations placed upon you by our judgmental society, you’ll achieve a finer grind.

3. Put some vodka around the rim of the glass then dip it in the graham cracker.

4. Pour the drink in the glass, sprinkle some cinnamon on top, and garnish with an apple wedge!

5. Enjoy!

If you have any seasonal drinks recipes or Mucinex, please share them with me!

Happy Margarita Day!!!!

Free Advice Friday? Screw that, it’s National Margarita Day!

Oh wait, you came here for advice and “damn it!” you want your advice? Okie dokie, I advise you to go make a margarita and chill out! Did you know that margaritas have been known to temporarily solve a multitude of problems? They can create a few long term ones too- but let’s focus on the positive today.

So what are your National Margarita Day plans today? I’ll be spending the evening with my BFF Joanne, doing what we do best…beautifying the world with our stellar personalities while drinking margaritas on the rocks with salt.

Not that we need a National Margarita Day as a reason to drink them, we can find any excuse. New job? Margaritas! Bad day? Margaritas! Negative pregnancy test? Margaritas! Margaritas! Margaritas! We even had a margarita party for her 40th birthday.

Here’s Brian and I at her party. I’m about 3 margaritas in, you can tell by the bloat.

Yes, we are jackasses.

In honor of National Margarita day, I’m giving you guys the recipe for my perfect (but simple) margaritas, so that you too can celebrate!

One Classy Margarita!

Ingredients

Limes, triple sec, tequila, sugar, salt (optional if you’re a wuss)…that’s it!

Directions

Mix equal parts tequila, triple sec, and lime juice. Add 2T of sugar for every 8oz of lime juice (if that’s too sweet then I meant 2 tsp.- oops). Shake with ice. Put in a glass rimmed with salt. Drink!

Now, I’m not saying that it’s the best margarita in the world, it’s just the best one I’ve come up with so far. So if you have a favorite recipe, please share it in the comments section so I can make it tonight!

You guys, I’m so excited, I think I just wet my pants! Good thing I’m wearing panty liners. Ole!

Tips for Tuesday – Anger, Protein drinks, and Yentl

If you follow me on twitter you might have noticed that my tweets this week have lost a bit of their quirky humor and have instead, been replaced by tweets laced with anger and irritation. Take my exchange with Tampax for example (Yes! THE Tampax!…I was a little star struck!

The whole family is PMS-ing today. Makes me want to put a tampon in their mouths and watch it expand. A @Tampax tampon. (call me,Tampax)

@MothaKim Sounds like a job for our Multipax! #TampItToTheMax

.@Tampax Yes! Different sizes for Different mouths because not everbody has the same flow of bullshit. #TampitToTheMax

@MothaKim hahaha! You’re definitely on to something here!

 

See what I mean?

But there’s a perfectly good explanation for all of this bitchiness…ready…… I’m on a low carb / no sugar diet (gasp!).

Sadly, it turns out that sugar is what keeps me stable, keeps me sweet, and unfortunately, keeps me regaining those damn 10 pounds.

Anyway, I’ve been really missing the chocolate martinis I had almost every night in December. Some nights (I’m only on Day 5) my desire for one was so bad that I would fall to my knees and sing sorrowfully like Barbra Streisand in Yentl , “Martini, can you hear me?”

If you’re not familiar with it, watch the video and replace “Papa” with “Martini” then you’ll truly understand my angst.

*skip ahead to 36 sec if you’re impatient.

[embedit snippet=”yentl-2″]

In the middle of one of my little breakdowns, I remembered that Brian had purchased (at my request) a huge box of Muscle Milk from Costco. This shit is no joke! It has 20 grams of protein and something like 6 carbs. And guess what….it was chocolate flavored.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Oh no she didn’t!” YES. I. DID.

TODAY’S TIP

Chocolate Muscle Milk Martini

What you’ll need:

Muscle milk, vodka, shaker, glass

Directions:

Mix Chocolate Muscle Milk with copious amounts of vodka (I chose Glazed Donut flavor, yum!).

* I know what you’re thinking here, ‘is vodka low carb or low sugar?’. I have no clue.

I chose to garnish with a brussel sprout to represent its health benefits.

Review

While it was surprisingly somewhat tasty, it wasn’t a chocolate martini. But seriously, did you really think it would be? Now, I did notice an aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for hours (maybe days) regardless of how many times I brushed my teeth, but I think that’s indicative of protein drinks in general. If you like these types of shakes, which I sorta do, it was better than not having a martini. In fact, if you think about it, Muscle Milk is a meal replacement so this could technically be considered dinner and drinks. Now that’s multi-taking!

Give it a try and let me know what you think. Or better yet, come up with another drink and send me the recipe! Thanks in advance!

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