I’m taking the day off from blogging to go Black Friday shopping…online. Not only that, I’m also going to put up all of our Christmas decorations. That’s right guys, I’m going to be productive and bra-less all. damn. day. It doesn’t get much better than that! Living the dream America. (and don’t go stopping by, I won’t answer the door)

If you’re heading out today or reading this on your smartphone from a hellish line, please be safe. And if you witness an altercation over a $19 toaster, just back away, don’t try to be a hero. Remember, heroes get cut or trampled on Black Friday.

I’m off to purchase that $19 toaster from my bed because IT’S THE SAME PRICE ONLINE, SUCKAS!