پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

A letter to my local bank. My story of betrayal and revenge.

Dear WSFS,

Last week, while driving to pick up my dog from his anal gland surgery, I noticed your sign:


Admittedly, I was a little intimidated by such a vague writing prompt. I mean, “Everyone has a story, tell us yours” lacks any real direction, and I prefer to work within well defined parameters. However, I considered it a challenge and started brainstorming almost immediately.

I asked myself “Candy Ass (positive self-talk), what type of story would WSFS be interested in? Maybe a cute animal story? Maybe a human interest piece?”

And then it occurred to me…I could write about the time I saved my cat by performing CPR! But I’d leave out the part where I got flustered and also gave him the Heimlich maneuver (he was never choking). *FYI- the Heimlich is extremely difficult to perform on an unconscious cat. They keep flopping over at the waist.

I ran the cat idea by my husband but, although impressed by my heroism, he suggested that perhaps you were looking for a story with a financial focus. That made sense.

After hearing that, my mind went straight to my childhood “Day After Easter” resale business.

I actually never cared much for candy but, between my parents and grandparents, I received 3 Easter baskets every year. And every year, on the day after Easter, I would set up a table at the end of my driveway and sell my surplus of candy to the kids in the neighborhood. Afterwards, I’d trash what didn’t sell.

Those kids both loved and despised me. I imagine it’s the kind of relationship a drug dealer has with his druggie clients.

Anyway, business was good until the Easter of 1983. That year I sold only 2 hollow Easter bunnies, a handful of chocolate coins, and 3 bags of jelly beans. I knew with numbers like that I’d never get my Cabbage Patch Kid by the end of the school year. (I was going to name her Andrea and love her forever)

The next day, after drowning my sorrows in a bottomless bowl of Fruit Loops, I hopped on my Huffy and noticed a flyer smacking around in my spokes. I pulled it out:

 

THE “TWO DAYS AFTER EASTER” CANDY SALE!
Billy’s house 12pm-2pm
cash or trade for Baseball cards

Son of a bitch! I rode right over there…and that candy line was ridiculous!

It took some intimidation, but it turns out that Billy told the kids he’d have cheaper candy and that they should wait for his sale. He then stole MY candy from MY trashcan to sell!

That little ass had undercut me with my own product! (I secretly admired his tactic)

The way I saw it I had 3 options:

1. Give up the Easter candy business
2. Start riding across town to throw away my excess candy.
3. Ruin him.

Not surprisingly, I chose option 3.

The following year I held my sale as usual. And once again, numbers were low. That’s ok Billy, that’s ok…

Later that afternoon, I took my leftover chocolate, a box of my grandmothers laxatives (Chocolate Ex-Lax, extra strength), and some candy molds up to my darkened bedroom.

I spent hours up there melting laxatives and chocolate bunnies together in my Easy Bake oven while taking hits off my scratch-n-sniff stickers and laughing maniacally.

After the “candy” hardened, I re-wrapped it and dumped everything in the outside trashcan. Then I sat by my window drinking orange Shasta and waiting for Billy to be his own undoing. Mwahahaha!

Let’s just say that the following year Billy no longer had the consumers’ trust (or their parents’), my candy sales were back up, and I was able to purchase my first Cabbage Patch Kid! *Can you believe I had to camp out all night in a Boscov’s parking lot to get that damn Andrea? Now you can’t give them away.

WSFS, if anything can be learned from sharing my story, I hope it’s this- have faith in your dreams, show resilience when faced with adversity, and most importantly practice quiet patience…because a great revenge plan can take up to a year or more to execute.

Sincerely,

Kim S
www.oneclassymotha.com

P.S. You’re free to include this letter as part of your corporate training program.

Like me? Love me? Feel “Meh”? I’ll take that too.
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PS- after you click the banner it’ll seem like nothing happened but trust me, you voted! and I’ll love you a little bit more…but not more than my wine. sorry.

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Happy Halloween and a dead cat.

I have some very sad news…I just came back from putting our 19 year old cat to sleep. I have never had to do that before and it broke my heart.

I was very concerned about how Collin would handle the news.  I even thought about hiding it from him until tomorrow so that it wouldn’t damper his Halloween excitement.  Unfortunately, when I walked in the door, my red eyes gave it away. So I took a deep breath and delivered the most comforting speech I could.

Well, um, he handled it pretty damn well.  In fact, he was more upset the day his hermit crab died, and he only knew him for 3 days.  I kinda get it though- while I loved Chloe dearly, I have to admit she wasn’t the most emotionally stable animal…only the good die young, right? And she was old…so very old.

Anyway, I’m in mourning.  No one else, just me.

In the meantime, I thought I’d entertain you with a few pics of the very much alive, Mr. Bojangles, getting his Luau costume on…

I am NOT wearing the matching shirt.

what did I just say?!. Back the hell up with that palm tree lookin’ shit!

I SWEAR I’LL EAT YOUR FIRST BORN!

Bitch. I can’t even look at you right now.

Happy Halloween!  Stay safe, warm, and check your apples for razor blades!

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