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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! A Carmenere you’ll love!

Ventisquero Reserva Carmenere 2011 – $12.99

 

Winemaker’s Notes: “This Reserva Carménère is cherry-red in colour with hints of garnet. Intense aromas of very ripe blueberries, black and red currants, strawberries and cherries harmonize perfectly with touches of cocoa, tobacco and elegant oak. The palate is rich and well-balanced, with lush, generous tannins that highlight the clean finish.”

 

Kim’s Notes: “Amen, Winemaker, A to the men!”

 

Things I want to do with this wine:

1. Literally bathe in it with a loofah sponge made from Parmigiano-Reggiano.

2. Roll it up and smoke it while listening to the sounds of the Asian Whale mating song. (Even I’m not sure what I mean by that. Must be the flavors of tobacco talking.)

3. Bring it home to meet my parents, then scream “I don’t care what you think, I love him!” when they don’t approve.

4. Walk hand in bottleneck along the boardwalk, stopping to take silly pictures of us in one of those black & white photo-booths.

 

5. Watch “The Notebook” together and imagine what we’ll be like as a couple in 40 years, then remember that he’ll be gone in 40 more minutes.

6. Invite him and his identical twin brother over to my house. I’d pop their corks and drink them both…at the same time! I know, I’m a naughty naughty girl.

 

Honestly, those tasting notes are right on the money so there’s no need for me to elaborate. Besides, I’m too busy drinking. Just trust me, I thoroughly enjoyed this wine and you will too!
 
 

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Cheapo Wino…Thursday! Oyster Bay Pinot Noir

2011 Oyster Bay Pinot Noir $12.99

 

Winemaker’s Notes: Oyster Bay Marlborough Pinot Noir is elegant cool climate pinot noir at its best. Fragrant, soft and flavourful with aromas of ripe cherries and sweet fruit tannins that provide structure and length.

 

Kim’s Notes: I’m going to make this one relatively short. Ana has her first day of preschool tomorrow and, seeing as day drinking is frowned upon, I want to quickly settle down tonight, in my bed, with a martini to celebrate in anticipation. And being that we just got back from “Meet the Teacher” night, I’m inspired to present my review in bad Dr. Seuss style. Enjoy.

 

Oyster Bay

I do not like Oyster Bay

I would not drink it any day

I do not like it

not one little bit

I do not like it

I wanted to spit

Would you drink it in a glass?

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like this Oyster Bay

I do not like it any way.

Would you drink it in a bar?

Would you drink it in a car?

I would not drink it in a bar

I would not drink it in a car

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like Oyster Bay

I do not like it any way.

Would you drink it in a park?

Would you drink it after dark?

Not in a park

Not after dark

Not in a car

Not in a bar

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like Oyster bay

I do not like it any way

Would you, could you

if your day was bad?

I would not, could not

if my day was bad!

Would you, could you

if it’s all you had?

WTF do you mean, if it’s all I had?

I’ll tell you what…

 

I would so, could so

crush your spine

If you did so, done so

drank all my good wine!

 

 

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Hacienda Chardonnay 2011

 

Hacienda 2011 Chardonnay -$8.99

TheWineryOnline.com Notes – Bright yellow-gold color. Aromas of butter-cream and hints of freshly cut grass. Mid-palate opens with lots of butter-cream and hint of apple. The oak is well integrated and finish is smooth and silky. Food pairing: Salmon, Fried Chicken, Pasta w/ lemon-garlic sauce.

 

Kim’s Notes – “My Hacienda’s a rockin’, so don’t come a knockin’!”

Let me tell you how Hacienda and I met. It’s a boring story, but one that I can make interesting with a picture of Brian.

So Brian and I went to dinner at this new restaurant down the street. The menu looked great, but our waiter was a bumbling mess- no really, a mess. I swear it was his first night waiting tables…anywhere. No biggie, as long as he put the orders in correctly. And at least he wasn’t cooking.

Then it was time to order dessert, and dessert is serious business for us.

Me: Can we have the flourless chocolate cake but without the raspberry sauce? Can you substitute it with chocolate sauce?

Waiter: So you don’t want chocolate sauce?

Me: No, I don’t want raspberry sauce.

Waiter: Ok, so NO sauce.

Me: No, I want sauce, but can it be chocolate sauce?

Waiter: Ok, no raspberry sauce but you want chocolate sauce?

Me: Yes! (yelled way too excitedly). Or if the chef has ganache, could he use that? Could you ask him?

Waiter: Ganche? Sure. And don’t worry, I’m preparing it myself!

BOOM!

P.S. this was Brian’s honest to god reaction, I had my phone ready.

We ended up with chocolate sauce, not ganache. At least it wasn’t raspberry.

After dinner, we walked over to the wine store because they were having a tasting and tasting things is sorta my “thang”.

Apparently, the chocolate martini and glass of wine from dinner were kicking in because Brian said I pointed out my favorite bottle of wine like 3 times (Louis Martini, Cab. Napa, 2009). Then I asked the owner to select wines for me, specifically for my Cheapo Wino reviews. And as I stared into my wine fridge last night, it seems that Hacienda was one of them.

And that’s how Hacienda and I met.

Can I just tell you how lucky I feel?! It’s like going home with a guy one drunken night and finding out in the morning that he’s the man of your dreams- rarely happens (or so I’m told).

My formal review: I detected a slight twang when it initially touched my palate, but that was followed by a warm, oaky goodness that bitch slapped the encroaching apple flavor away. Mmm mmm. This wine pairs well with chocolate chips, microwave popcorn, and pork – or my favorite, chick flicks and an empty stomach.

Buy me some today!

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Cline, Red Zin

 

 

It’s Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday, because boob jobs aren’t cheap and you need to save your money somewhere! (psst, Lauren, your secret’s safe with me.)

Today’s selection:

 

Cline 2012 Ancient Vines Zinfandel – $14.99

Vintner’s Notes: To taste the depth and complexity of flavor of an ancient vine grape just before it is harvested is to understand why the wine made from them is so special. Ancient Vines Zinfandel has flavors of dark berries, coffee and chocolate with great vanilla oak character and a long lingering finish. This wine has it roots in the Cline family’s 80 to 100-year old vines in Oakley. From these historic holdings the wine has grown to include grapes sourced from California’s finest zinfandel regions.

Winemaker Notes: “Wonderful, fat strawberry, with coffee and chocolate characters. Ripe fruit and soft tannins make this a mouth-coating rich vintage.”

 

Kim’s Notes: “What’s behind door number 2? It’s a new car!”

 

There’s no question about it, this tasted like chewy car leather. But wait! ….I liked it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a Mercedes or Lexus quality leather, but it definitely wasn’t pleather either.

 

I couldn’t help notice that nowhere in the winemaker’s notes did they mention leather, so I asked Brian to try it. He “claimed” he didn’t taste leather either. Bullshit! But I wasn’t really surprised, he never agrees with me on anything. Never ever. Here, allow me to prove my point:

 

This one time we were at our local Friendly’s Restaurant and I said to him, “Our waiter looks just like that actor Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

“Would you like hot fudge on that?”

 

and he said, “No way. He couldn’t look less like Jake Gyllenhaal if he tried.” Then I said to the waiter, “Do people ever say you look like someone famous?” and he said, “Yes, everyone says I look like Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

When the waiter walked away, Brian turned to me and whispered, “Who’s Jake Gyllenhaal anyway?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He disagreed with me without even knowing who the actor was?!!! So I pulled Jake’s picture out of my wallet and he says,”Yup, looks nothing like him.” I swear he does this for sport. This is just one of the reasons I drink, people.

 

Anyway, back to the wine. It tastes like leather, but in a good, oaky way. And it has a nice firm body that pairs nicely with hot dogs, handfuls of chocolate chips, and the general family bitching that occurs around bedtime. Buy some today!

 

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