So this is how Monday night went…

I assumed I was going to get the stomach bug from Ana, so I ate a box of Thin Mints, a handful of chocolate chips, my weight in cheese, and I washed it all down with a chocolate martini. Then I sat and waited for the vomiting to begin.

And…nothing.

Damn it. Now all those calories are sitting in my ass wondering when I’m going to buy a bigger pair of pants to accommodate all the expansion that’s about to happen.

So yesterday morning…

I tried so hard to think of a reason why I couldn’t go to the gym. The only thing I could come up with was either clean my house or take a trip to the Medical Walk-In Center for my overdue pap smear. I went back and forth for a while but eventually settled on the gym.

Of course, halfway through my spin class I started to feel nauseous. I thought, “Oh hell no! I didn’t eat healthy this morning AND exercise only to go home and vomit all day.” But luckily it turns out I was just getting motion sickness from reading the calorie counter and tweeting.

So last night….

After all that healthiness, we went to a micro-brew restaurant where we ate truffle fries, pork belly tacos, toffee cake, and drank the darkest, densest, beers they had. Yum! Unfortunately the kids loved the truffle fries too and ate most of them…

Truffle fries? Our kids aren’t cheap.

Aww, don’t you just love Ana’s shirt? So cute, right? Now check out the whole outfit…

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the purple socks and silver shoes in this shot.

Man, she looked a mess. I actually threw this on her early this morning because she was running around naked. When I tried to really dress her for school, she refused to change. Some days I’m too tired to care and this was one of them. I just told everyone that she insisted on dressing herself and BAM! it made the whole outfit endearing. Brian was horrified. whatever.

So tomorrow…

Rinse and repeat.