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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Cline, Red Zin

July 31, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

 

 

It’s Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday, because boob jobs aren’t cheap and you need to save your money somewhere! (psst, Lauren, your secret’s safe with me.)

Today’s selection:

 

Cline 2012 Ancient Vines Zinfandel – $14.99

Vintner’s Notes: To taste the depth and complexity of flavor of an ancient vine grape just before it is harvested is to understand why the wine made from them is so special. Ancient Vines Zinfandel has flavors of dark berries, coffee and chocolate with great vanilla oak character and a long lingering finish. This wine has it roots in the Cline family’s 80 to 100-year old vines in Oakley. From these historic holdings the wine has grown to include grapes sourced from California’s finest zinfandel regions.

Winemaker Notes: “Wonderful, fat strawberry, with coffee and chocolate characters. Ripe fruit and soft tannins make this a mouth-coating rich vintage.”

 

Kim’s Notes: “What’s behind door number 2? It’s a new car!”

 

There’s no question about it, this tasted like chewy car leather. But wait! ….I liked it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a Mercedes or Lexus quality leather, but it definitely wasn’t pleather either.

 

I couldn’t help notice that nowhere in the winemaker’s notes did they mention leather, so I asked Brian to try it. He “claimed” he didn’t taste leather either. Bullshit! But I wasn’t really surprised, he never agrees with me on anything. Never ever. Here, allow me to prove my point:

 

This one time we were at our local Friendly’s Restaurant and I said to him, “Our waiter looks just like that actor Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

“Would you like hot fudge on that?”

 

and he said, “No way. He couldn’t look less like Jake Gyllenhaal if he tried.” Then I said to the waiter, “Do people ever say you look like someone famous?” and he said, “Yes, everyone says I look like Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

When the waiter walked away, Brian turned to me and whispered, “Who’s Jake Gyllenhaal anyway?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He disagreed with me without even knowing who the actor was?!!! So I pulled Jake’s picture out of my wallet and he says,”Yup, looks nothing like him.” I swear he does this for sport. This is just one of the reasons I drink, people.

 

Anyway, back to the wine. It tastes like leather, but in a good, oaky way. And it has a nice firm body that pairs nicely with hot dogs, handfuls of chocolate chips, and the general family bitching that occurs around bedtime. Buy some today!

 

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! A Cabernet (yes, again) from Argentina.

July 17, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

 

Cruz Alta Mendoza Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 2012 – $11.99

 

Winemaker’s Notes: “Deep ruby red color. Complex aromas with cassias, mature red fruit and coffee from the oak. Rich and long lasting on the palate, its tannin texture provides a smooth and pleasant finish.”

 

Kim’s Notes: “I think I might maybe like it?”

I have to admit, I originally gave Brian shit for picking this up as I really don’t care for French wines. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s from Argentina- but notice that the label says it was aged in French Oak. And to me, French Oak tastes like my Baby Hathaway doll smelled on Christmas morning 1976. THAT, my friends, is a problem.

As usual (and as recommended), I had my first glass on an empty stomach. I found it to be well balanced, with a nice texture and pleasantly plump body – not unlike myself. And surprisingly, I didn’t detect the plastic diaper smell I was dreading. No Baby Hathaway here. But I was a little disappointed that I didn’t taste any oak – momma loves her oak (just not French). I think this wine is a lot like a Pinot Noir…maybe…who knows.

Brian tried it and said, “I think it’s a little winey”. Whatever that means.

Then I said, “You’re a little winey…a little whiney bitch!”

Then he took my slice of pizza and licked it. Then I threw up in my mouth.

Surprisingly, I still found the Cruz Alta pretty good. It wasn’t heavy, but it had some character and weight. Not unlike my throw up.

However, after eating some Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, things went south. The wine started to taste tangy and a little sour. Strange.

Now here I am, all confused and with mixed feelings. But for $11.99, I think I’ll give it another shot and report back.

 

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Sweet and Creamy. No, not me.

July 10, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

Creme De Lys Chardonnay 2011 – $11.99

Winemaker’s Notes: The winemaker chose California vineyards that yield incredibly lush flavors of tropical fruit, baked apple and citrus.  Sur lie aging gives this wine it’s soft, creamy style.  Use of primarily French oak adds hints of vanilla and creme brulee on the finish, making this wine the perfect reward at the end of your day.

Kim’s Notes: Damn it, I wanted so badly to say, “Creme De Lys? More like Creme De Lie! Hahahaha”

But noooo, it actually was creamy and sweet, and “Creme De Truth” doesn’t have the same ring. Blah.

I drank my first glass on an empty stomach (as you should to make dinner preparations more pleasant), and I was a little surprised by just how sweet it was.  I decided to pair it with various food items to see if they changed the taste:

Potato chips = a little better

Cheese = still too sweet

Chocolate chip = Oh god, no!

More potato chips = not bad

Still more potato chips = getting better

Potato chips…

Needless to say, I was no longer hungry for dinner.

By the time I got to my third glass, I felt like it really mellowed out on the sweetness.  In fact, it started to taste almost full…complex…oaky…and that’s when I realized that I had subconsciously switched to Cabernet.  Hey, it happens. I’m like a homing pigeon, but with red wine.

I would recommend Creme De Lys only if you like sweet, sweet, creamy wines.  I know first hand that it pairs well with copious amounts of Sour Cream & Onion potato chips.  I can only assume that it does not pair well with diabetes.

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Chateau Ste. Michelle

June 26, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

Today, I bring you another great wine that’s under $15, because we both know you should be saving your money for therapy.

 

Chateau Ste. Michelle Cabernet Sauvignon 2010 – $12.99 (Costco)

Winemaker’s Notes:

Our goal with the Columbia Valley Cabernet is to highlight concentrated Washington red fruit in an accessible style. This is our inviting Cab with plenty of complexity and structure with silky tannins. It’s also very versatile with food–try it with beef, pork or pasta.

Kim’s Notes: “It’s like an ‘Under $15″ fairy tale” (heads up: today I take a narrative approach)

He stood before me, chilly from the cold (our wine fridge was set too low). I brought him to me and held him tightly against my chest, warming his firm body against my flappy one. When I sensed that the time was right, I stared deeply into his dark soul and drank him in.

He whispered softly to me, “Chocolate…no..no…wait…berries…I mean, oak”. Oh, how I loved his complexity! In fact, I loved him so much that I decided to marry him…to a watermelon & Gorgonzola salad I found in the refrigerator. The bride wore balsamic. After the ceremony, they rode happily off into my esophagus, where I imagine they had beautiful sangria babies together. The End.

This wine pairs well with chocolate, pepperoni pizza, and disappointment.

 

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