The day began with our exterior house painter banging his ladder on our roof and I’m sure seeing one of us  naked through the bathroom window.  And by the way, there’s nothing worse than someone seeing you naked while you’re totally unaware. It’s not the feeling of violation that bothers me, it’s the not knowing to suck in my gut that pisses me off .

After breakfast and before the kids came over, I took the dog (Mr.Bojangles) out with me to talk with the painter. Bo had been barking at him all week and I wanted them to meet so he could see that Bo wasn’t so bad. Well as we were talking I heard a familiar tinkling sound. It took a moment for the noise to register (because I was too focused on holding in my stomach). I looked down to see Mr. Bojangles, with one leg hitched up in the air, peeing all over the painters belongings: caulk gun, paint cans, radio, coffee, etc. This man must hate us. …

Remember yesterday I was concerned that parents wouldn’t send their kids back because of the little snafu with the body paints (see notes from Day 4)? Well they didn’t. Of course it was explained with clever excuses like “going to visit my aunt”, “quality time with my dad”, and “my mom can’t believe you let me write LMFAO on my arm”. But you know what, I promised my kids 5 days of Camp Cheapo and by God they were going to get it whether they liked it or not.

It was another crummy, rainy day so we knew we had to stay indoors. …..Ok, this is where I’m going to stop and admit that I am freaking exhausted. I have been sprayed with shaving cream, hit with water balloons, I’ve sat in outdoor bubble baths, cracked my ass on slip N slide, and had my entire legs painted in red hearts (which won’t come off). I needed a reprieve. I suggested we play Library, Hospital (I play the coma patient), or Morgue. Basically any game where I could rest or sleep. They saw the pattern and held their ground. A compromised was reached, Boomers Playland.

After convincing Ana about the importance of wearing pants (see Day 4) we dressed and headed out. It was immediately noticeable that Ana was either extremely tired or just sick of us. The moment we walked in the doors she made it clear to Collin that he was her Be-otch. The moment he defied her orders was U.G.L.Y. First, he made the rookie mistake of standing up to her in a fenced area with only one exit…and she was blocking it. Dumb move. It went like this:

Ana “Come on Collin, NOW!”

Collin “No” <tremble>.

Uh oh. It all happened so quickly and yet I can still see it in slow motion. First there was a shrill scream followed by her leaping into the air- it had a Bionic Woman quality to it. She landed on his chest, took him down, and secured him with some sort of “Don’t-you-know-I’m-a-crazy-bitch, asshole!” choke hold. Anyone else watching would confuse the screams with kid excitement but I knew it was an out and out fight.
 
I took some pics of the altercation until Collin’s sputtering became more of a wheezing and the terror in his eyes became hard to ignore.

I pulled her off and she threw her body on the ground in anger and disgust.
 
I turned this party around by ordering a horrible Boomer’s pizza. Gag. Once their blood sugar went up I saw hints of brotherly-sisterly love until Collin hurt himself on a moonbounce (don’t ask me how, I thought it was impossible too). Ana, as sweet as she isn’t, could give a rat’s ass. Knowing we wanted to leave, she took off. I tracked her down.

When we got back I successfully convinced them to play movie theater. We watched a movie on our big screen and vegged. It’s nice to know that even the young kids get tired, it’s not just me in my advanced age. It wasn’t our most exciting day but we were together.

I’m too tired to write a deep synopsis on what a wonderful experience this week was (and it was). I will say that my house is a mess, the dishes aren’t done, and there are errands that need to be run but that’s ok- it was worth it. I knew we loved each other but it’s something special to realize just how much we really like each other!
 
Collin wants to do Camp everyday for the rest of the summer. While it’s not totally practical (did I mention how tired I am?) I did say that we will do it 1 or 2 days a week because it really was fun!

So I did a Day 6 mini-session. Don’t ask me why.