We started the morning like most mornings, late and running to the store for supplies. (Our motto: Preparation is overrated.) But before we left I had to search around the house for a 35mm film canister- I wanted the kids to make an Alka Seltzer rocket (it’s safer than it sounds- I promise). I asked everyone I knew if they had a film thingy, no one did. They have apparently vanished along with the typewriter, Atari and VHS tapes. Sad. Anyway, in my search I came across one canister with an undeveloped film roll AND 3 undeveloped disposable cameras. The side of each camera had a label that said something like “Develop Before the Depression Era Ends” so I figured the quality of the pics wouldn’t be the best but I was still excited. Oooh, mystery pics!
So before we went to grab our camp supplies we stopped at Walgreen’s 1hr film center. It wasn’t until after I handed the film to the girl that I thought of all the bad (read: inappropriate) pictures I might have taken between adolescents and “understanding consequences” adulthood. I was scared. Maybe I should have used the Walgreens in Maryland.
Next we went to Tuesday Morning in case they had a bargain I couldn’t pass up. To me it’s like Marshall’s little sister, and I love me some Marshall’s. Well we were there for all of 10 minutes before Collin started screaming “Mom! Mom! Mom!” from several aisles over (yes, I left them in another aisle- sue me). I ran over to see Ana standing in a puddle of her own urine. Great, just great. I didn’t even bring my purse in, I had nothing. I tell Collin he needs to run to my car and get the emergency diapers because surely they’ll suck up the pee from the tile. He says,”what?! You want me to go into the parking lot by myself?” I put my hands firmly on his shoulders, look him directly in the eyes and say,” Today, Collin, you become a man. I have been preparing you for this moment all your life and I know you won’t let your family down. (a slap on the back to pump him up) Now go get those diapers!” And he did. But his bedtime is still 9pm, man or not.
Finally we go to the grocery store and get the vinegar we need for our foam experiment. By now an hour has passed and we head back to Walgreens for my mystery pics. When I get there I stand at the photo counter for 10 minutes without a single person coming over to help me. I’m getting pissed standing there, my daughter smells like urine, and the campers are at home waiting for me. Then I see the box of happy pills. No lie (see pic).
This was an official carton of “Happy Pills”. It’s not like it was written in sharpie or anything, nooo this was a manufacturer -freaking-printed title. How long has Walgreen’s been selling Happy Pills? Are they over-the-counter? I assume there’s a tiny bit of margarita in each capsule and I’m sure I can’t afford them.
Eventually I get my mystery pics. One roll was unable to be developed because they no longer have the equipment necessary to extract the film. I told you it was old. So $35 later I was looking at poor quality pics. There were a few pics of our trip to Chicago, our wedding rehearsal dinner, and our swim in the ocean with a sea lion. But even those pics were grainy and had heads cut off. $35 for that. I now totally get the appeal of viewing digital pics before developing.
We get back home and the kids are waiting with their swimsuits on, cause Camp Cheapo is messy. I first pull out the hose because it’s usually our entertainment and our cleaner-upper. While I’m taking the lids off of the whipped cream I see the boys pretending to pee while they’re holding the hose. Boys are so classy.
When we begin our whipped cream fight the kids soon realize that it’s hard to throw whipped cream from a can so they decide to spray it directly in their mouths. Why didn’t I see this coming? They then discuss how it would suck to have diabetes because then they couldn’t eat this whipped cream, as if this were the only reason having diabetes would suck.
Once the cans are kicked we move on to the Alka Seltzer rocket. Let’s just say it was a dud because my film canister wasn’t quite right. I may need to check eBay for the canisters in the future, or an antique store. Next up was the homemade foam. This consists of a plastic bottle, dish washing soap, warm water, baking soda, and vinegar. The instructions mention something about not screwing on the lid or it may be a considered a dangerous explosive. For some reason this still didn’t deter me. The instructions also required some measuring but one of my younger campers suggested we just “eyeball it”. She remembered my lesson of half-assing it from Camp Day 6! It brought a proud tear to my eye. And eyeball it we did. As a result, we ended up covered in foam reeking of white vinegar (way too much vinegar eyeballing). As we stood around debating who stunk worse, we witnessed the reappearance of the rare Costa Rican Tiger Butterfly (as seen on Camp Day 3)! The kids were beginning to suspect he wasn’t so rare after all. After I hosed the kids and the driveway down they wanted to know what we were going to do next. I was so exhausted,I filled up the baby pool, threw in some sponges, buckets, and shovels, then ran inside and hid.
