پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Tips for Tuesday! Baby Wipe Bins: Not just for butt wiping!

July 30, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

You know I love and care about you guys deeply, right? You also know that my Tips for Tuesday, while dysfunctional and at times totally inappropriate, are meant to make your life easier and/or more interesting, right? Well, I decided that I’d bring you even more awesome tips by reaching out to some of my favorite bloggers on the web! Together, we can solve any problem! It’s like Hillary Rodham Clinton said, “It take the Village People.” I’m not really sure what she meant by that but I’ll be the construction worker.

Today’s tip is brought to you by Stephanie from When Crazy Meets Exhaustion! I just love this chick! She’s funny, smart, and disgustingly adorable. Hmm…maybe I hate her sometimes?

I first met Steph when she asked me if I’d like to guest post on her hilarious Oversharing blog series. I jumped at the opportunity, and we all know I had no trouble writing THAT post! After all, almost all my posts are oversharing. My poor husband. Anyway, after reading her tip, you MUST check her site out- you’ll laugh your ass off!

____________________________________________________

 

Do you love Pinterest? Shut up.

Pinterest makes me feel inferior. All those assholes showing off their homemade birthday party decorations and treat bags can bite me. We don’t have three Dollar Generals within a four mile radius ‘round these parts for nothin’!

When I change a light bulb, I don’t hollow it out and add water to create a dainty hanging planter complete with blooms from my luscious garden. I throw that shit away because, hellooooo?!, it’s a burned out light bulb. And my garden? It’s my dogs’ toilet.

Who has the time to do this stuff?! Can anyone give me tips that will actually make my life easier and infinitely more entertaining?!

Oh, yeah; Kim can. And that’s why I love her. I love her so much that I’m sharing one of my best bad ideas with you fine folk. So sit back, relax, take off your bra if that’s what does it for ya, and behold:

 

 

I had two kids in 22 months. That added up to a lot of love and a lot of butt wiping. I started buying baby wipes in bulk to avoid losing a child beneath a heap of plastic bins, but despite my efforts, I was up to my eyeballs in blue plastic. Talk about waste!

Or not…

First up is what I have affectionately dubbed “Awww Hell Naw I Ain’t Watching Caillou Again:”

 

It was bad enough when I only had to share the remote with my husband, but now these little people are in my house and demanding I turn off HGTV so they can catch the latest episode of The Wiggles. Simply close the lid and conceal your lie: “I have no idea where the remote is. Sorry kids!”

 

I know we all have our own vices, and mine is sugar. I’ll share my uterus, but I will NOT share my chocolate.

 

And from what I understand, it’s frowned upon to share these with the kids:

Additional tip: these little puppies make the perfect stowaways in your diaper bag when headed to a family reunion, amusement park, or doctor appointment. Don’t judge.

 

My daughter is constantly approaching me with open hands and a sweet smile. Because she wants money. I used to try and distract her with a kiss or a coloring book, but she pushes away from me like I’m the old perv uncle of the family. Now she just helps herself into my purse. (Author’s note: as I was writing this, my daughter legit swallowed a penny. I had to call the pediatrician whereupon I learned that consuming coins is “normal.” As today is my seventh wedding anniversary and the traditional gift is copper, I feel like this is also “thoughtful.” Thanks, kid.)

 

And while we’re on the topic of my little princess, she has been increasingly difficult to feed. If it’s not Pap-Pap’s pasta or pizza or these…

…the child will not eat. I’ve enshrouded the deliciousness in here in an effort to force-feed her some vegetables, but since we are now waiting 5-7 days for the penny to pass, she can eat whatever the hell she wants.

 

And finally, have you any Legos or other annoying toys that tempt you to start a house fire just to be rid of them? If you answered no to that question, you’re a liar. My kids have a room filled with stuff. So much of it that I can’t wrap my brain around why they insist on playing with these creepy things:

For one thing, I step on these little effers ten times a day. For another, they don’t blink; therefore they are Satan’s playthings. Let’s close Pandora’s Box once and for all, shall we?

 

I’d love to hear what you do with your empty wipe bins. Unless, of course, you’ve fashioned them into a transistor radio or papier mâchéd that shit into a Christmas gift. Seriously, how do you have friends?

 

Stephanie, wife of one, mother of two, English teacher of many, rants about parenting, education, and stupid people over at her place, WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion. She would like to thank her husband for not leaving her, and her entire family for providing enough writing fodder to last a lifetime. Follow her crazy on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and, if you’re really bored, Instagram.

 

 
 
Make sure to vote for Steph when visiting her site!
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The Weekend in Crappy Pics.

July 29, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

As you may have read last week, my backyard Camp Cheapo was cut short by an illness that raged within my body for several days, thanks to a certain little Camper (or Influenza Trojan Horse, as I like to call her). At one point, my body temperature soared to 99.9, and I was completely delirious! I could barely finish painting my nails. But thanks to Tylenol and a kick ass martini recipe, I pulled through.

Anyway, before getting sick, one of my readers gave me a great project idea for my campers, and I was dying to try it (illness/death pun not intended). So on Friday, I decided to try it with my own kids. Now brace yourself…ready?…it had educational value. Gasp! I know, right? Normally I would shy away from that type of summer activity, but it required a pizza box and I’m always looking for ways to deplete my supply. We order a lot of pizza.

I called Collin downstairs (Ana was already up my ass) and said,”Guess what? We’re going to make a Pizza Box Solar Oven and bake cookies in it!” And he said, “That sounds like fun! Call me when they’re ready.” and tried to run back upstairs.

Oh, hell nooo!

Here she is! Isn’t she a beaut!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the Solar Oven baking time on the back of the cookie mix. But knowing it was high noon, the humidity level was at 50%, and the wind blew at 1mph, I solidly declared that they’d be ready in 23-25 minutes.

At that moment, I honestly believed I could survive in the wilderness with nothing but a pizza box and a can of deet bug spray.

Twenty-five minutes later *ding*, I wasn’t so sure. They were still raw. Forty minutes later, still not done. An hour later, nope not yet.

At sunset, we were forced to bring it in and eat the dough with a fork. We later switched to spoons.

You know what my kids learned? They learned to hate solar energy, one disgusting cookie at a time.

On Saturday, we decided to round up all of our old DVD’s and take them to 2nd & Charles to sell back for cash or store credit. If you’ve never done this before, basically you take your used books, video games, DVD’s, etc., give them to the cashier for evaluation, and shop for an hour while you wait for them to call your number.

Ok, it wasn’t an actual hour, just a perceived one…

While we were waiting, the big question was “How much do you think we’ll get for everything?”

Collin: “$80”

Brian: “$150”

Ana: too busy climbing a bookshelf

Me: “$90”

Brian:”If we’re only buying about $24 in new books, what happens to the left over credit?”

Kim: “We should ask for the cash, and use it to pay for dinner!”

Collin: “Or to buy a guitar?”

Brian: “Or as a down payment on a new car!”

Kim: “I’ve always wanted diamond earrings!”

They called our number…

Cashier lady:” Would you like $4.50 in cash or $9.00 in store credit?”

 

You see, we left the house with this many DVDs:

and we were sent back with this many:

WTF? They only took 3 DVDs. Three. Three. (Obviously, this is not a sponsored post.)

See any titles you’d like to purchase from us?

 

When we returned home and checked the mail, we were reminded that Mr. Bojangles has a birthday coming up:

What kind of doggie birthday gift is that? I’m pretty sure he’d rather receive a coupon to have his anal glands expressed.

Even the dog on the card looks sad and stricken with separation anxiety.

On Sunday, Brian wanted all of us to go bowling together. Quite frankly, I just wanted some time alone. He tried the “You have to come, it’s quality family time.” guilt, and it might of worked if this hadn’t happened earlier…

What’s this? THIS is a reminder that I haven’t been alone since school ended. THIS is Ana busting into the bathroom with her flashlight, turning off the lights, and asking me to make shadow puppets with her…nevermind what I’m doing.

Have fun bowling, kids.

Guess what guys? I just found out that my Beaver Babies are on Scary Mommy today! Click the button & check it out!

Psst…could you do me a little fave and click the banner below and throw me a vote? Just a click validates me. Thanks!
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Notes from Camp Cheapo- Day 2, Season 2

July 24, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

It’s Camp Cheapo Week! You can read Day 1 here

 

Oh man, I really winged it today. No morning trip to the store, no laying out of equipment, and no idea what we’d be doing. But when the clock struck noon and the garage doors went up, it was GO time! I suspect this is how badass rock bands put on a show.

First up, water balloon basketball. The idea was to gently put a balloon filled with water (not to be confused with a water balloon) in the basketball net, which I had previously tied at the bottom to keep the balloon from falling out. Then one person would stand under the net while everyone else took free shots. Problem was, the damn balloon wouldn’t pop!

Someone suggested throwing darts at the balloon. Not surprisingly, the thought had crossed my mind too, until I remembered that throwing darts above another person’s head probably wasn’t a good idea. The fact that I even entertained this idea makes me think I might need a supervisor to supervise my supervision.

We disappointingly moved on to “Indestructible Bubbles”, made with water, dish soap, corn syrup, and love.

I would say that the adjective “Indestructible” is a huge exaggeration. These were more like “Hold Me Gently” bubbles. I’m guessing it was the love that weakened them.

 

Next up was a cleverly disguised bath that I like to call “Bubble Pool Relays”.

Instruction: You’ll want to fill a baby pool with dish soap, then throw about 100 small plastic toys in there. Have the children divide into two relay teams. At the whistle, the first pair have 15 seconds to fish out as many toys as they can with their feet, the next pair can use their hands, the next use their elbows, etc. Keep cycling through this until they’re all clean from head to toe.

 

*note: while they’re drying off, take the opportunity to shave your legs.

 

Before heading to the pool, we concluded our backyard fun with the awesome Dunk Bucket. They said something about not wanting to do it, but damn it, do you know how long it took me to make that?!!! I’m filling it with snow this winter.

And at the end of the day, this awesomeness happened…

That’s right, sleeping across the couch at 5pm!

READ Camp Cheapo, Day 3

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Notes from Camp Cheapo- Day 1, Season 2

July 23, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

Camp Cheapo is my attempt to inexpensively bond with my kids and their friends, while looking like an awesome and attentive parent for at least one week of every year. This is that week. Check out more Camp Cheapo activities under the “categories” button on my sidebar.

 

The day started with my kids verbally bitch slapping each other in the backseat of the car, as we rode to the dollar store for last minute supplies. You see, we at Camp Cheapo believe that preparation and planning stifles creativity and almost always leads to disappointment. In fact, our camp flag is a picture of a pigeon carrying away a pair of shorts, with our motto “Flying by the Seat of our Pants” written underneath. Oh, and the pigeon is crapping on someone’s car, because our other motto is “Shit Happens”.

After, leaving the Dollar store,

“Hey mom, how much is this?”
“A dollar.”
“What about this?”
” A dollar.”
“There’s no price tag on this one.”
“I’m guessing it’s A DOLLAR! EVERYTHING…IS…A…DOLLAR!”

we returned home with our goods.

The neighbor kids showed up as soon as Camp Cheapo’s garage doors opened…at noon*.

*Camps that start in the morning are stupid. Your kids aren’t even on your nerves yet. Honestly, they take a while to warm up, like cold-blooded lizards in the desert.

 

Our first activity was the dunk bucket!

That’s right, homemade and rigged by my own little noggin! You want the blue prints? Well, they’re right here, my friend (tapping my forehead), and it’s all boggled to hell. I think I’d be the worst scientist ever.

“Why yes, I did find a cure for Polio. But I made my cryptic lab notes on the back of an old grocery receipt, then, having no scrap paper left, used that receipt to throw away my chewing gum. Chewing gum flavor doesn’t last nearly as long as it should.” – Me, as a scientist.

 

Next up, the shaving cream fight!

Learning from last year, I made sure to reiterate the importance of not spraying the shaving cream in our eyes. I heard crying about an all-over skin burning sensation, but not a whimper about the eyes. I consider that a success.

After hosing off, we moved on to the “First Team to Get All Their Cheese Curls to Stick to Their Partner’s Head Wins” game. I know, it needs a shorter name.

My team won! Though it was partially by default. Ana’s team was disqualified for eating their Cheese Curls with a side of Sensitive Skin shaving cream dipping sauce. By the way, this activity was inspired by a pin on my Camp Cheapo Pinterest board. I say “inspired” because I never actually read the direction.

 

Next, we made an unexpected discovery! Did you know that if you put your hose setting on “jet” and lock it in, you can hold it like this…

and do the limbo!

Then you lose control and it whips around like a demon until it knocks a kid out. I told Collin that “seeing double” just means there’s more in the world to love!

 

Finally, we ended the day by packing in the car and heading over to the neighborhood pool. I sat in my chair and relied on good old-fashioned Parasite Parenting to do my work.

I was nice and relaxed until I looked on the ground and saw these shorts. They belonged to some teenage girl sitting next to me…

and then Ana came over and threw her pool toys down…

 

And now they reside in a garbage dump on the other side of town, as should the shorts.

 

READ Camp Cheapo, Day 2

 

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