I know it’s not Tuesday but I have to share this tip with you before the holidays are over.

We’re having our family over for Christmas Eve and I’m determined to serve a festive holiday cocktail to go along with our rum balls.  I looked all over the internet for ideas and found myself inspired by this pic (I pinned it on my Pinterest board):

Mmmm…drinks that taste like some of my favorite cookies!  I sooo wanted to make them!  Unfortunately, every recipe required 50 million ingredients and I had none…well I had vodka.

Wanting to impress my guests, I printed out the drink recipes and headed to the liquor store. And holy hell, do you know how much money I’d have to spend to make a martini that tastes like Oreos? A LOT.  No thank you, Martha Stewart of the Alcoholic World.  I went home empty handed.

I was staring at my wine bottles when I thought to myself, “self, you’re resourceful, creative, smart, and beautiful (positive self talk is important). Surely you can come up with a great holiday drink that doesn’t require crazy shit like orange bitters and liquor soaked in unicorn balls.”  And so I did.

And this is where I tell you how to make a holiday inspired drink from ingredients you probably already have in your kitchen!

The Poor Man’s Peppermint Patty Martini

What you’ll need:

cheap vodka

vanilla extract

half & half

hot cocoa mix

sugar (optional)

candy cane

 

Directions:

1.  The first thing you need to do is to stick your candy cane*** into the bottle of vodka and shake. Set aside.

*Initally, I felt bad about stealing a candy cane from Ana’s bag but then I noticed that the tag said Juliet.  So Ana stole it from Juliet and I stole it from Ana? Suddenly I didn’t feel so bad for Ana.

**Before putting it in the vodka, I accidentally dropped the candy cane on the floor and then stepped on it for good measure. But the great thing about cheap vodka is its ability to kill everything, even floor germs.

2.  Pour a handful of half & half into a cup, heat it up in the microwave, then stir in some hot cocoa powder.

You’re free to read the instructions on the back of the hot cocoa tin, but why stress yourself?

3.  Throw in a half cap of vanilla extract. stir. taste.  If it’s not sweet enough, add sugar.

4.  Pour your cocoa concoction in a cocktail shaker with some ice.

5. Grab your vodka.  The candy cane should be dissolved by now, leaving you with a beautiful pink color.

Now pour 2-3 gugs of vodka into the shaker.  What’s a “gug”?  It’s my unit of measurement for all my drink recipes.  As I pour alcohol, Brian usually stands next to me saying “gug, gug, gug,gug,….” to make me feel self conscious about drinking, then he goes out to smoke a cigar (a tobacco product).  If you don’t have your own household hypocrite, you can always use a shot glass.

6.  Shake and pour into a beautiful martini glass or jelly jar, whichever.

7. Garnish with a candy cane, peppermint patty, or thin mint.  Not having any of those left, I used a fig newton.

8. Take a deep breath…drink up!  CHEERS!

(Not bad, right?  In fact, I was shocked at how drinkable it was.  Of course, it smelled better than it tasted, but at a nickel per serving who cares?)