Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m on a plane to Florida AGAIN,without my family! Well, technically I am with family, I’m with my mother, who keeps reading over my shoulder when she SHOULD be flagging down a flight attendant for those tiny bottles of vodka.
“Mom! Take care of your parental duties!”
One Margarita, one Screwdriver and a complimentary bag of peanuts later….
anywhoo- I have a Free Advice Friday that I was going to finish on this flight but my mother wants to talk about dog breeds, the validity of Cool Sculpting for permanent fat reduction, and the ethical dilemma you find yourself in when requesting an airport wheelchair because you’re not wearing the right shoes -all things that intrigue me immensely. Sooo, for today, here’s a repost that I should have put up on Mother’s Day but totally forgot about. Enjoy.
PS- I’ll bring back crappy pics on Tuesday!
.
Dear Kim,
I feel like I’m sucking at this motherhood thing. Everyone around me seems to have their act together and I’m such a mess. My kids are always late for the bus, I forgot about my daughter’s Show and Tell day, my kids refuse to eat a healthy meal, and I can’t remember the last time I dusted. All these screw ups, and I don’t even work outside of the house! How does everyone else make it look so easy?
Sucking at Motherhood,
Sally
My dear, dear Sally,
Honestly, I don’t believe there’s a mother out there that has her shit together. And if you think you know one, I guarantee she’s faking it. She probably fakes those over-the-top orgasms too…
But if she’s not faking it, it’s possible that she’s just not sharing her problems with you.
Take me for instance, I’m sure everyone thinks I’m pretty much perfect. And why wouldn’t they? Just look at the way my underwear always matches my Lulu Lemon yoga pants to disguise the hole in my crotch, how I shave my legs almost every third Monday without fail (excluding Columbus Day), the fact that I never ever entertain guests without wearing pants or a bra. Yes, I imagine, on the surface, I can be quite intimidating. But once you get to know me, you realize that I’m just like every other mother out there, forgetting her kids at the gym daycare and hiding empty wine bottles under discarded boxes of organic cereal stolen from the neighbor’s recycling bin.
Sure, my life might appear to be all roses but it’s more like “all carnations”- you know, not without some emotional strife.
I worry that my daughter’s steady diet of turkey hotdogs will deprive her of essential nutrients causing her to grow crooked like a tree sapling planted in partial shade. But I serve her hotdogs anyway. Every time we buy our son a video game simply because he wants it, I worry that we’re not teaching him the value of hard, honest work. But I’ve yet to create a chore chart because it’s quicker and easier for me to do a job myself. And when my daughter says “A” is her favorite number…ugh…I worry that she’ll be behind when she enters Kindergarten next year. But have I made those multi-sensory flash cards that I found on Pinterest? No. No I haven’t.
Speaking of Pinterest, I saw this great quote:
So true.
But I think it needs a little rewording…for us…
Let me ask you this, Sally: Do your children love you? Do they feel safe? Do they know how much you love them? If so, then you’re rocking this Motherhood thing! Trust me, that’s all anyone will truly remember, and in my opinion, it’s the only thing worth remembering.
Give your kids a hug & make Pop Tarts for dinner,
Kim
