Giveaway! New Dog In Our House! There’s a contest at the end of this post!

It’s that time of year again, the time of year when I think outside of myself and my family, do something good for my community, society…the world.  Don’t get me wrong, I normally contribute to causes; donating to St. Jude’s, giving gifts to the needy at Christmas, saying ‘yes’ to the cash register lady when she asks if I’d like to donate a $1 to the March of Dimes or Juvenile Diabetes Foundation.  But I had the urge to do something bigger.  I wanted to be a foster parent.

Originally I thought about fostering a child but then I recalled the time I forgot Ana at the gym daycare and went home without her.  Just then I heard a tiny voice say “maybe you’re not qualified“. I’m pretty sure it was Ana’s.  So I decided to scale it back. Dogs.

I searched petfinder.org and craigslist until I saw this picture…

I fell in love with those warm, soft eyes (which I’m hoping isn’t glaucoma), they shouted “Save me and I’ll love you forever!”.  I read this description:

 “URGENT!  Mr. Fluffy needs foster care or an adoption today!  Rescued from a high kill shelter in KY. He is 4 yrs old, sweet, quiet, low maintenance, loves animals & all people, and only has 3 legs.”

3 Legs? 3 Legs?  I found my dog!

Question: What makes you feel more altruistic than taking in a foster dog?

Answer: Taking in a foster dog with only 3 legs!

So yesterday we met the rescue lady at Petco.  We were a few minutes early and stood around waiting for her.

Brian:  Do you know what the lady looks like?

Me: Nope

Brian: Well,  how will you know who she is?

Me:  Umm, I’m kinda assuming she’ll be the person walking a 3-legged dog.

Brian: Good point.  Does she know what you look like?

Me: Nope

Brian: Good.  I suggest we treat this like a blind date.

Me: What do you mean?

Brian:  When she walks in, we’ll check out the dog.  If we don’t think he’s good looking then we walk out the door and text her that we had to cancel.

Me:  You’re awful….Ok, maybe.

They walked in, and he was an adorable little thing.  Customers were stopping left and right to pet him, he was the getting all the sympathy petting.  I bet a single guy could use him to get a lady or two in the sack. He’s up for adoption fellas *wink wink*

We brought Mr. Fluffy home and he seamlessly fit into our household.  Mr. Bojangles was happy to meet him and was trying his best to remain calm, while our cat looked on in confusion.  Did I ever mention that our cat is beautiful and dumb? Dumb as a brick.  But I’ll save his stories for another time.

The kids were so excited!

Collin: Can he sleep in my room tonight?

Me: Sure.

Collin: I’m going to teach him all sorts of tricks!

Me: Ok, but just don’t ask him to give you his paw.

Collin: Well not with his right paw, because he doesn’t have one.

Me: Um, not with his left either because he’ll fall on his face.

Collin: oh, right. (I swear Collin really is a bright kid)

Mr. Fluffy seems to be very comfortable here.  He gets around remarkably well for only having 3 legs and everyone likes him.  But there was a moment when the neighbor’s dog thought he was a bunny, you know, because of all the hopping.  He started to bark and chase Mr. Fluffy, but quickly stopped when he witnessed our 3-legged friend tip over while peeing. The dog tilted his head like “WTF?”, and just sat there…”dude, that sucks”.

Now we’re at the point in the post where I ask you to consider adopting Mr. Fluffy.  He’s a wonderful dog, great with children, animals, people, etc.  He’s laid back and easy going in almost every situation.  I can totally see him being a wonderful therapy dog.

I would be so grateful if you would forward this post to anyone you think might be interested in adopting him.

Ok, now the contest.

Name That Dog!!!

The original shelter gave him the name Tripod, which I thought was kinda accurate but cruel.  And the rescuer gave him the name Mr. Fluffy.  The problem is, we already have a “Mr.” so every time we call “Mr.”, Mr. Bojangles comes running…and he’s getting pretty damn pissed.

The lady said she’s only had him for 4 days so he doesn’t answer to any name; we’re free to make one up.  This is a huge responsibility and we’re looking for your help!

Please submit a name (or names) suggestion in the comments section below, or through my facebook page, or twitter.  If your awesome name is selected you’ll receive a $25 iTunes gift card AND…wait for it… a free Jr. Frosty coupon from Wendy’s (exp. 2/1/11)!

Put a Santa hat on that pumpkin and it’s a great holiday teacher’s gift.

Mr.Fluffy/Tripod thanks you for your help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shopping without a bra (the best kind of shopping)

I’m taking the day off from blogging to go Black Friday shopping…online. Not only that, I’m also going to put up all of our Christmas decorations. That’s right guys, I’m going to be productive and bra-less all. damn. day. It doesn’t get much better than that! Living the dream America. (and don’t go stopping by, I won’t answer the door)

If you’re heading out today or reading this on your smartphone from a hellish line, please be safe. And if you witness an altercation over a $19 toaster, just back away, don’t try to be a hero. Remember, heroes get cut or trampled on Black Friday.

I’m off to purchase that $19 toaster from my bed because IT’S THE SAME PRICE ONLINE, SUCKAS!

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for?

someecards.com - I'm thankful for family, friends, wine, and vasectomies. The order of that thankfulness keeps shifting.

Mr. Bojangles May Be a National Star!!!

I have some exciting news, Mr. Bojangles has an opportunity to star in a national TV commercial!  This is the email I received…

They must have heard of his talents through my letter to our local bank, WSFS. Or maybe it’s because we’ve purchased a shitload of fish oil tablets from them and they expect his coat will radiate under the camera lights.  In truth, the fish oil tablets were for us…what? they have better prices than Vitamin World.

Brian says that I’m being ridiculous and that they probably sent this email out to everyone.  To that I say, “It must suck to be so pessimistic”.

Anyway, before entering Mr. B, I wanted to take a look at his competition.  Here are a few entries:

Hi! I’m Oates! I am curious, a little bit sneaky and full of energy, but I’m always game for a cozy snuggle session. Vote for me!

Oates, I’ve got three words for you…Pre. dict. able.

Love getting gifts in the mail from PetMeds…

Nice sucking up. I’m sure that strategy will pay off. (psst, it’s customers voting, not the CEO).

I’m blind but I can still see you daddy!

OMG, you’re going for the sympathy vote, really? “Papa, are you there?”

Why don’t you just add that he only has 1 month to live and his dying wish is to star in a 1-800-PetMeds Commercial?

What “Stage” do I report to? I’m here to shoot the commercial!!

Is that dog wearing bedazzled shoes? WTF? Don’t lower that car window lady, ’cause this dog’s looking to jump.

After sizing up the competitors, I decided Mr. Bojangles was a real contender.  So I stuck a bow tie on him, set up a professional photo shoot, and wrote an elegant introduction.  Then I remembered that I bought him in front of a Taco Bell for $49 and he sometimes shits on my rugs.  If Bo was going to win, I wanted him to do it by being himself.

Hello ladies, my name is Mr.Bojangles.  In my free time I enjoy rolling in deer poo, drinking from the toilet, and nights out at the Litter Box Sushi Bar.  When I’m not busy crapping on area rugs, I can usually be found eating rolls of toilet paper and snacking on Halls mentho-lyptus cough drops.

If I win, a portion of my winnings will go towards establishing a Non-profit organization that supports sufferers of PTNS (Post Traumatic Neutering Syndrome), it will be called Paws Without Balls.  Our mission will be to provide counseling and, in some cases, reconstructive surgery for suffering canines in the Tri-State area.

A vote for me is a vote for compassion and testicular love (in the Tri-State Area).

Now I know you’re all excited to vote, but voting doesn’t actually open until November 29th.  Don’t fret, I’ll send out a reminder on that date, along with the voting link for Mr. Bojangles.

Our family truly appreciates your support!

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